Hello and welcome to Wrestling With Words’ live coverage of WWE Roadblock, emanating from the Ricoh Coliseum in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
For being essentially a glorified house show in many people’s minds (myself included), the opening video package was as nice as any major PPV, so it is nice that the production team is giving this a big show feel. They also had a full lighting treatment, proper TV style. The only place I could immediately see less than PPV-level production was in the screens they brought and there were no LED ring aprons.
No time was wasted getting things kicked off, with the New Day getting the crowd clapping and dancing. They introduced us to the new Booty O’s cereal, saying they “always eat Booty Os“. You naz-tee. New Day cut a promo on the League Of Nations and got the crowd chanting “New… Day rocks!” just in time to be interrupted by The Lads.
Barrett stood a chance against Kofi, smacking him around, but was no match for Big E, who dropped him on his back and manhandled him. Lots of double teaming by New Day, keeping Barrett in their corner. The League was determined to take home their first tag titles though, so they weren’t going to let New Day stay dominant. Sheamus hit a shoulder tackle off the top rope to Kofi, which was not in his normal wheelhouse. He tempted fate, jumping off the ropes a second time, but Kofi had him figured out and hit a big dropkick. E was tagged in and showed he was a Belly To Belly monsta, flattening Barrett in the process. Kofi came back in, with a Trouble In Paradise attempt that was reversed into a Cloverleaf by Sheamus. Kofi jumped off the top rope & looked like he botched a leapfrog attempt on Sheamus that looked a bit rough. Xavier distracted the ref on an attempt by Barrett on Big E, and Big E hit the Big Ending to get the 3.
Winners: The New Day
Chris Jericho came out to tell the house show audience that “Canada literally sticks & Toronto is the anus.” The crowd gave him the expected boos, and the patriotic Jack Swagger came out to defend his home country, Canada? I guess he’s considering all of North America to be his home these days. Jericho was securely in the role of heel for this one, and the crowd was solidly behind AJ Styles, who wasn’t even in the building as he was busy facing Owens in Atlantic City.
Swagger was fired up, smashing into Jericho time and time again. A Running Bulldog was hit by Jericho, then he missed a Lionsault attempt, but Swagger hit a Swagger Bomb that almost won him the match. Jericho rolled up Swagger for a Walls Of Jericho, but he overpowered Chris. Jericho hit him with an Enziguri and tried a Code Breaker, but Swagger caught him and planted him with a Gutwrench Powerbomb. Jericho was able to get a the Walls on finally and tap Swagger out. This was not a pretty match, folks. So much of it was sloppy and the dynamic was off. Still, it was what it was, not that it was a good thing.
Winner: Chris Jericho
The Revival are great in-ring mechanics (pun intended), but Enzo and Cass are just tailor made for the big show (no pun intended there). Everyone is expecting Enzo & Cass to be called up to the main roster soon, so this makes the result of this match more interesting. On one hand, they could give the belts to Enzo & Cass and give them a very short run, or they could leave the belts on the Revival and give them more legitimacy.
The crowd was more excited to see NXT faves than anyone else so far on this card, which bodes well for them in the furture. Dash and Dawson showed the better in terms of continuity, tagging in frequently and keeping Enzo in their corner, while Enzo and Cass showed the most dominance when they had things going their way. Enzo’s Cross-Body Blocks and Cass tossing him out of the ring into the Revival were highlights early on. Dawson did an incredible Shoulder Block to Enzo when he attempted a tag, showing he really understands the in-ring psychology part of the equation as well as being a massively solid worker. Cass exhibited incredible power, making me imagine all of the possibilities awaiting him. A HUGE East River Crossing by Cass was supposed to lead to a Rocket Launcher, but Dawson was once again in the right place to pull Enzo off the ropes. Dash came back in while Dawson had him in his arms and he hit a Fatal Blow to get the pin and retain their titles.
Winners: The Revival
Nattie was interviewed back stage, saying she dedicated her match tonight to her uncle Bret, wearing a “Brothers Gotta Hug It Out” shirt with Bret and Owen. Charlotte came out with Ric to interrupt her, saying she would never be Divas Champion. Guess we’ll have to find out.
Charlotte got a nice boo from the Canadian crowd and Nattie, of course, got the hero’s reception. The match started off as just a clinic, exchanging holds tit for tat. Nattie got a super high Surfboard on Charlotte that looked great, and she really helped Charlotte to have an impressive performance. As with many Charlotte matches, her opponent can either help or hinder her, so it was god that she was in with a skilled worker like Nattie tonight. Charlotte used her length to her advantage, stretching Nattie and performing rolling flips that Nattie bumped he ass off for.
Ric danced and pranced his way around the ring, happy to see his baby girl in control, and Charlotte did the Flair Strut as a tribute to her dad. She was having too good a time, getting caught when she tried to turn a Figure Four into a Figure Eight. Charlotte chopped Nattie’s left leg down and wrapped it around the ring post. As JBL pointed out, Charlotte getting a DQ would still keep the belt on her, so Nattie had to make sure to get a pin or submission, lest her big chance be for naught. Side Russian Leg Sweep and a Sharpshooter attempt by Nattie, but Charoltte was able to kick out and get a big boot on Nattie, taking her out. Charlotte tried to get the Figure Eight, but you can’t beat a Hart that easily. Charlotte climbed to the ropes, but Nattie pulled her off, hitting her with a Sit Down Powerbomb that almost got her the 3. Nattie finally got the Sharpshooter and the crowd went absolutely bonkers. Charlotte clawed her way toward the ropes and Ric helped her the rest of the way, grabbing her arms. Nattie got incensed, jumping up to get in Ric’s face, which turned out to not be a good idea, as Charlotte got Nattie in a roll-up and had her feet on the rope for leverage just to stick the needle in further.
This was way better than I expected. Nattie has the ability to make Charlotte look like a million bucks. It was apparent that she did most of the heavy lifting and earned every cent of her paycheck tonight, but in all fairness both women came out looking better for it.
I’m always hyped for Brock vs anyone at one of these house shows, so this one has potential. Ive been down on Bray overall for a while now, but with the exception of his stale mysterious riddle gimmick, the guy can still go. Brock is a monster and always shows up ready to murder, so I don’t doubt he’ll live up to my expectations. This one didn’t work out as expected, as it was announced that this was now a handicap match instead of a one on one. Harper came out to join Bray (or should I say take Bray’s place, but we’ll get to that in a moment).
It was unfortunately at this time that my Network feed started being a dick. I didn’t want to miss a second of the destruction, but sadly it skipped around a ton during this one.
Almost immediately, Bray slipped out of the ring and watched from outside. rock took Harper to Suplex City, throwing him around like he was nothing. Harper hit Brock with a Discus Clothesline, assaulting Lesnar. He hit Brock with everything he had, but everything is not enough when you are fighting against Brock. Bray stayed on the outside while Brock delivered Suplex after Suplex on Harper, turning beat red and busting up his own lip as he tends to do. It’s not a Brock match unless he looks unhealthy in color and is bleeding. Brock hit an F5 to make short work of Harper, and he stalked out of the ring after a very scared Bray.
Overall, this wasn’t much of a match and wasn’t even what was advertised, but we did get Brock killing someone and looking like a total Beast, so I’ll take it. To quote @lob_3, Brock was “more dominant than Aja Kong In Korakuen Hall, Maggle!”
Winner: Brock Lesnar
Any chance to see Sami Zayn in a ring is worth checking out, though I do wish they would have paired him against someone other than Stardust. Still, Sami was going to make the most of this opportunity, possibly being seen by more eyes than ever before. The “Ole!” chants were at high volume, people being quite happy to see him in the flesh. JBL was breaking kayfabe, referring to Sami’s “other persona” in relation to the “Ole!” chants.
Eden went one further by saying she wanted Sami to lose for her own reasons…
— Brandi Rhodes (@TheBrandiRhodes) March 13, 2016
Stardust started by focusing on the previously injured shoulder of Sami, who is just now returning after a very long absence due to the injury. It was a good back and forth swing, Sami getting hit with a huge Superplex by Stardust, Sami getting several Clotheslines and the ol’ 10 punch on the ropes to Stardust’s noggin. He then flipped out of the ring and came crashing down on Stardust. A Blue Thunder Bomb was not enough to stop Sardust, much to Sami’s amazement. Stardust attempted a Queen’s Crossbow, Sami returning the favor with a Disaster Kick and eventually getting a Helluva Kick to score the pin.Overall the match felt awkward and ran longer than it should have but was pretty decent overall, just bad booking that brought it down.
Either way, glad to have you back Sami. Can’t wait for the main roster run that almost happened 9 or 10 months ago.
Winner: Sami Zayn
With just a tad over an hour left, I kind of expected this to go Broadway. Trips walked with the swagger of Kayne, smiling as he outclassed Ambrose every step, getting him in a Kimura early on.
Ambrose didn’t take this well. He went full-on Moe Howard from the Three Stooges, grabbing HHH’s mighty schauz. The crowd was energized, half chanting “Let’s Go Ambrose” while the rest chanted “Triple H!”. This is, of course, when they weren’t chanting “CM Punk!” JBL compared Dean to Terry Funk which was just ridiculous. “I know Terry Funk, & you sir are no Terry Funk.”
Ambrose targeted HHH’s knee, chopping him first then stretching it over the rope for a dropkick, then wrapping it around the post to see if he could re-tear the quad. For a bit, Dean was in solid control.
Trips is a ring general, and he isn’t afraid to go outside either. He threw Dean to the ring barrier and slung his body over it. Paul is a man who would stop at nothing to ensure his title stayed with him. Stretched quad or not, he is one tough sumbitch.
Dean found that good ol’ intestinal fortitude, landing a Flying Elbow off the ropes that knocked both men down. Dean got up blazing mad, chopping Trips’ chest repeatedly and hit a Running Bulldog. HHH tried to hit a Pedigree, but Dean reversed to a Dirty Deeds, though it couldn’t finish him. Triple H hit Dean with a Clothesline that folded Dean every which way.
Pedigree attempt by HHH led to a Figure Four by Dean. With the whole match focusing on Triple H’s leg, he was struggling to not tap out. Dean then got a Sharpshooter.. in Toronto… on HHH. The crowd ate this shit up. It’s amazing, but almost 20 years later, Canadians still hold a grudge for Montreal.
The place went insane when Dean hit a Dirty Deeds to get a 3 count! Yes! But then they started booing as the ref stated that HHH’s feet were under the rope. Bullshit. Ambrose won and he was robbed. Dean was so pissed, taking HHH outside the ring and crashing into the barriers. He got up, climbed to the top rope and flew off with an elbow. He did the DX chop from the ground and pounded Triple H on the announcer table. He ran the barricade and flew off to land on HHH on the table… only HHH rolled out at the last moment and Dean smashed the table instead with his own body weight. Ambrose barely made it into the ring at 9, just in time to run straight into a Pedigree. Ladies and gents, Triple H is going to WrestleMania with the belt.
And @TheFrayMovement‘s pants dropped to his floor. ….And Scene! All hail!
Winner: Triple H