Watch: USA Network
June 13, 2016
Smoothie King Center – New Orleans, LA
Welcome to WWW’s weekly WWE Raw Review. For now on, Danny and I will be taking turns reviewing Raw each week. Poor Dan couldn’t take it anymore (god bless the man), so we’re here to save the day. Going into the show, we know that Dean Ambrose will be hosting his ‘Ambrose Asylum’ with special guests Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns. Also, a huge 8-man tag team match and Sami Zayn takes on Cesaro! Let’s get into it.
In a beautiful start to Raw, the WWE Superstars, staff and crowd stand on the stage for a moment of silence for those effected in the Orlando tragedy.
The commentary team announces that John Cena & AJ Styles will have a contract signing tonight, which gets me pretty stoked.
New Day cuts a in-ring promo about their Fatal 4 Way Tag Team Match this Sunday at Money In The Bank. A little comedy ensued when Big E & Xavier woods cut on Kofi’s Steph Curry shoes. Pretty damn comical. But, of course; they were interrupted. First, by Enzo and Big Cass. They came out and did their usual shtick which always gets over. Then, they cut a promo about winning the Tag Team Championships on Sunday. Enzo & Cass then join in with Big E & Woods, making fun of Kofi’s shoes. More comical stuff followed including Xavier saying “IM THE ONLY ONE WHO BLOWS MY GIRL”. Imagine that being said on Raw in 2016.
Before a verbal jousting occurred, the Vaude Villains interrupted. Very quickly after English started singing, The Club interrupted. Thank god, because they saved this horrendous segment with some seriousness. The segment ends with Enzo & Cass calling The Villains & The Club S-A-W-F-T, leading us into a 8-Man Tag Team Match.
Enzo Amore, Big Cass & New Day vs. Vaudevillains & The Club
We come back from a commercial break and the match has already started. We see New Day in control, basically decimating the Vaude Villains. The duo of Gotch & English get no reaction what so ever, and I feel bad for them, but then I realize how bad they are and I just wish they were back in NXT. On the other hand, Enzo Amore is very entertaining in the ring and really can bring a crowd to their feet. After getting mauled by the opposing teams, Enzo got the hot tag to Big Cass who came in on absolute fire, taking out everyone. Kofi then hit a huge dive to pop the crowd before going to break. Overall, a pretty normal boring Raw tag team match that of course ended with chaos. Kofi was hit by the Magic Killer, allowing Gallows, Anderson, English & Gotch to pick up the win.
We see some Shield highlights to hype up the Ambrose Asylum segment later on tonight involving Dean, Seth & Roman.
Another “Make Darren Young Great Again” vignettes airs, which is hilarious. Can’t wait for Darren’s return.
Shane & Stephanie McMahon argue back and forth about who will take SmackDown and who will take Raw. Then Corporate Kane showed up and wanted a job. He pitched Shane some ideas that would make Raw “Red Hot”.
Zack Ryder is backstage telling everyone how Apollo Crews knocked Sheamus on his ass. Sheamus interrupted and said after tonight, Zack will be the punchline.
More Shield highlights aired.
Primo & Epico vignette type deal aired.
Titus O’Neil was making an entrance for his match when he was viciously attacked by Rusev on the stage before locking in the accolade. Ref’s had to pull Rusev off of Titus.
More Shield highlights aired. Oh lord, we are one hour into the show and only saw one match. Up next, The Ambrose Asylum. Joy.
Ambrose Asylum with The Shield
I know this probably has all of the Shield fan girls going wild, but this was horrible. Dean Ambrose danced around and mouthed off about nothing until Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns made their ways to the ring. Ambrose asked a few questions and tried to be funny (which didn’t work). Ambrose continued to ask questions back and forth between Roman & Seth. Ambrose inserted himself into the conversation and told them that if he wins the Money in the Bank, he could walk out of Sunday as champion. As I expected, the segment ended in a big brawl between all 3 men, and Ambrose stood tall after laying out Seth and Roman.
Ambrose was backstage with Stephanie. She announced that in the main event, Dean Ambrose will go one on one with Chris Jericho. OH JOY!
Charlotte (w/Dana Brooke) vs. Paige
Becky & Natalya were on commentary for this match. This…was a piece of shit match. Charlotte did a damn Ric Flair sell, Paige reversed the figure 8 about 3 times, then Charlotte got into it with Becky & Nattie at ringside. Dana tried to help, but Paige took control from that and hit the Rampaige and won. PAIGE BEATS THE CHAMPION CLEAN ON RAW. MY LORD.
Sami Zayn and Cesaro are backstage with Renee Young. They took small shots at each other and hyped up their match for tonight.
Charlotte yelled at Dana Brooke backstage and basically told her to get on the same page with her.
Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder
Sheamus went straight after Ryder as soon as the bell sounded and beat the living shit out of Ryder with nasty clubbing blows to the back. Ryder started to fight back and took control. Ryder hit the Broski Boot and the Elbro Drop, but Sheamus kicked out. Sheamus got up and Brouge Kicked Ryder to pick up the win.
After the match, Sheamus attacked Zack Ryder until Apollo Crews came to the aid of Ryder and sent Sheamus running.
Highlights from past Money in the Bank Matches aired; highlighted by Kane.
Kevin Owens & Del Rio argued backstage. They started yelling in different languages. A match was made that Kevin Owens & Del Rio will take on the Lucha Dragons tonight. If the Dragons win, they take Owens & Del Rio’s spots in the MITB Ladder Match.
Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro
As expected, these two tore it down out there. You can always expect a solid match out of these two, the chemistry they have is just pure awesomeness. This match was all Cesaro from the start. Sami tried to fight back, but every time he fired up; Cesaro put a stop to it. That was the theme throughout this whole match, but damn it was good. Cesaro looked better than ever out there and really pulled out all the stops. But he couldn’t stop Sami Zayn! Sami started to fire up and fight back, then he hit one of the nastiest sun set flip power bombs he’s ever done, and picked up the win. Fun little match.
John Cena vs. AJ Styles Contract Signing
John Cena was introduced first and cut a promo talking about how he respects AJ Styles. He said how he was the best in ROH, NJPW and even PWG. He then tells Michael Cole that things are going to be different tonight and he should step out of the ring, which he does. AJ Styles then made his way down to the ring. AJ Styles cut a promo about how John Cena can’t beat him. Cena then told AJ that theirs two contracts. One agrees that he can have The Club at ringside. The other, says that he can’t have The Club at ringside. He gives AJ Styles the option to sign whichever one he wants. After going back and forth on the mic with Cena, AJ Styles signs the contract that bans The Club from ringside, and tells John Cena he will prove that he’s the new face that runs the place.
Alberto Del Rio & Kevin Owens vs. Lucha Dragons
Right from the start, Kevin Owens & Del Rio weren’t on the same page. They argued, blind tagged each other, and Owens even started to leave at one point, giving the Lucha Dragons the upper hand. All this in less than five minutes into the match. Del Rio & Owens started to get back in control, but after some more miscommunication, Kalisto hit the Salida Del Sol on Del Rio, but he couldn’t get the pin as Alberto rolled out of the ring. Owens saved the match for his team twice before tagging himself in. But, Sin Cara came in on fire and had the upper hand on Owens. It didn’t last long though, because moments later, Kevin Owens hit a pop-up power bomb and won the match for his team. Del Rio attacked Owens after the match with a super kick.
Miz sent WWE a video from Marine 5 and told the WWE superstars to work hard. Editor’s note: I didn’t really watch Raw. I need to find this. Incredible.
Kevin Owens talked to Stephanie backstage and asked to be on commentary for the main event. Steph agreed, and put a interrupting Del Rio as special guest time keeper.
Stephanie & Shane argue backstage about stipulations made to the main event. Then they make Cesaro the special guest ring announcer. They then tell Kane that he’s not getting the job to run SmackDown. Shane tells her that they’re going to co-run Raw and he will run SmackDown.
Dean Ambrose vs. Chris Jericho
These guys have had this same match 50 times, I swear. They went back and forth for the better part of ten minutes, with the men at ringside teasing a brawl a few times. I cannot stand to see another Ambrose & Jericho match. It seems like they just get worse and worse every time. They do the same back and forth moves with the same reversals and they don’t do anything to slice it up and make it new. Both men went strike for strike until Jericho tried to hit the code breaker. But Ambrose reversed it and hit the dirty deeds to pick up the win.
After the match, every thing broke down and all of the participants in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match brawled around the ring. Sami Zayn took everyone except Jericho out with a dive, leaving Chris Jericho all alone to climb up a ladder and unhook the briefcase to end Raw.
Overall, this was a shit show. There were a few good splotches throughout the show; like Sami vs. Cesaro and John Cena/AJ Styles contract signing. Other than those things, Raw was pretty meh. Thankfully, our own Danny will be taking review duties next week. Good luck. Thanks for reading.