Reviews TNA

TNA Impact Review – Total Nonstop Awesome

The three top guys in TNA battle for the top prize in this week's main event

TNA Impact

Watch: PopTV

Air Date: June 28, 2016

Universal Studios/Impact Zone – Orlando, Florida


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In light of the G1 and NJPW’s success thought this would be a good time to remember that these guys were only good enough to make it as low midcard acts in TNA and this review will explain why, in-directly.

Mediocre Mike Bennett Promo 

Mike yammers on about being the best in the world, which no one believes.

Lashley is out now and is offended at the idea of what Mike is saying. He calls Mike an afterthought, which is a full on shoot.

ECIII comes out and talks about wanting the world title, he calls Mike Bennett’s jacket a “stupid members only jacket”, I’m quite pleased.  OH MY GOD ECIII CALLS MIKE BENNETT A PIECE OF SHIT. The entire roster is shooting on Mike Bennett, it would not surprise me in the least if MIke takes to Twitter to block ECIII and make slightly homophobic insults at him. We’ve all been there with Mike.

Billy Corgan is out and Ethan Carter makes a terrific pun about the X-Division feeling Melancholy and there is an infinite sadness, more shooting here. I often gaze at the stars and think fondly of Jerry Lynn and Amazing Red.

Corgan makes a stupid idiot pun about the X-Division by saying that Bennett will defend the X Division Title “Tonight Tonight” against the winner of an X-Division Battle Royal. (Note I didn’t think it was possible to have a 5 person battle Royal). ECIII attacks Bennett, here comes Galloway and things have broken into helter skelter.

This was a great opening segment, everyone buried Mike Bennett which is all that needs to be said.

I will add that ECIII continues to be one of the best mic guys in the business. Lashley should really be in the conversation for most improved of 2016. He’s continued to put on quality matches and cut great promos. He’s a better world champ than Okada, Ambrose and Lethal. Please visit or revisit his 2016 before do any kind of year-end voting.

Galloway and ECII backstage pull apart

Galloway and ECIII are bickering. Galloway said he was doing ECIII a favor they get in each other’s face and a pull apart ensues.

TNA Knockouts Championship: Sienna (c) vs. Gail KimN/R

Gail comes out and they hype her TNA HOF Induction, it’s a big deal as she will likely be on a WWE Legends deal soon.

Here comes Allie and Sienna, making fun of Gail. Allie has an incredibly annoying voice but I think that’s the point. She’s a good mouthpiece for Legit Hoss Sienna.

This was a nothing match, very much an angle to advance a few stories, as we get Jade coming out to attack Allie, Marti comes out to attack Jade and Gail gets distracted, Sienna hits Gail with The Silencer.  Lots of putting over of The Silencer from Josh and The Pope.

Matt Hardy

Hahahahahahaha Matt is in a wheelchair holding Maxel, they ask about his condition and he says he is broken and will always be broken. This is not over until he gets what he needs.

Galloway and Mike Bennett

Mike is talking about being able to beat all the X-Division wrestlers and being cocky about it they are really trying to make Mike undersell the X-Division which is making this story a little obvious.

Fact of Life with Eli Drake

Yeah Yeah Yeah, Dummy, Yeah Yeah Yeah. Why is this dummy growing on me?

He talks about Mashed Potatoes and says the Drake family does two things well, make mashed potatoes and whoop kiester. Yeah. Eli says Yeah more than Lil Jon. Unfortunately there is no skeet skeet skeet that follows.

Eli calls out James Storm. Eli says he’s glad Storm walked it off instead of driving his cooler day. It’s nice to see TNA’s resident Da is able to walk off his drinking problem off.  Storm call’s Eli Drake, Eli Dork and the fans are chanting Eli Dork.  Eli keeps calling everyone Dummy’s. This is great! James Storm turns this into a drinking game.  Storms pulls out beer, Eli pulls out water.  Eli keeps hitting the dummy button and Storm keeps drinking. Storm has had enough and says he will slap Eli the next time he hits the button. Eli chickens out, and kicks Storm out and tosses his beer. Storm is pissed and hits Eli with the superkick. “I don’t need a button to say, Sorry about your Damn Luck.”

What a great segment. Eli Drake is really coming into his own as a character and it sets up a match that will be really fun when it happens. This is the right way to build a story/feud. TNA is letting it breathe and the results were very good.

Jeff Hardy Backstage Segment

They tell Jeff, Matt is here. Jeff laughs like an idiot and yells about Creatures. Jeff going into business for himself isn’t nearly as good as Matt going into business for himself.

Vignette for the Fixer

TNA has gone all in the wacky banana wrestling and it’s great. They just aired something about a wrestler called the fixer in an infomercial style vignette. This was awesome. I’m marking out, for this show at present.

Bram and Rosemary

Rosemary is trying to seduce Bram. She is playing with fire, she should run a criminal background check on him.

Matt Hardy Segment

Matt is wheel chair and refuses to get out saying his “extremities will not allow him to get out” I’m losing it right now. He makes Reby wheel him around the ring as he insults the fans.  I’m having a hard time keeping up because I can’t stop laughing. He needs Jeff to come down and get in his face hahaha. Here comes Jeff and Matt wants this to be over.

Jeff is under the influence he tells Reby to Fly Away to Harry Potter Land and said he will take care of Maxel, Matt is pissed and gets out of his chair, why would you hot shot the wheelchair gimmick, TNA?

Matt is administering some North Carolina justice with the steel chair, he’s stuck Jeff’s head in between the chair and delivered a twist of fate. Matt says their final war happens in one week’s time, and the final match is in Matt Hardy’s backyard! Matt is calling this the Final Deletion.

This show is getting a 10/10 rating from me. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had this much fun watching TNA. While nothing about TNA is “good”, it’s silly and over the top and I love it.

As far as next week goes I’m fired up for this match. We are getting a honest to goodness backyard match on live tv for free. These are blessed times for wrestling fans. Do not miss a potential match of the century contender.

Fixer Vignette again

The Fixer comes off as a real American that fights for the right of every man but also likes black people. So it’s definitely not Hulk Hogan.

X Division Battle Royal**1/4

The X Division is coming at 7 people strong. This is the darkest part of the show. Please fix the X-Division TNA, it has so much potential to fit into this wacky tv you are putting on.

We got some nice spots here including a double hurricanrana by Eddie Edwards, Mandrews was eliminated early which continues to be a bummer TNA is really missing the boat on him. The match itself was quick and to the point, since the X-Division is such a non factor for TNA it was obvious who was leaving quick. The winner ended up being Braxton Sutter which was a nice surprise and he continues to get a good reaction from the IMPACT Zone, which is no easy task.

Mike Bennett vs. Braxton SutterN/R

Shane and crew are not happy they lost so they beat Braxton Sutter down, and here comes Mediocre Mike Bennett. Braxton played possum and almost got the surprise pin after Mike was gloating around the ring. Mike hits his finisher after that and gets the win. Just an angle.

Lucha Legend Shera and Grado Backstage

They were teasing a third man to help them with the Tribunal and Al Snow. They said they have found the man they want.

Braxton Sutter Backstage

Braxton is bummed and cuts a promo with every bad coach cliché you could think of. I dig his character, but the promo was cheesy. I continue to find myself surprised at how well received he is to the IZ fans.

The Tribunal & Al Snow vs. Malabali Shera, Grado & Tyrus*1/2

I love Grado mostly because I know the good lads over at TNAMecca can’t stand him plus he’s decent if you look past the goofball bullshit.

Grado and Shera said they have a surprise and out comes the Fixer Tyrus. So the Fixer has been ruined. Grado is the best worker in the match by a mile and Al Snow looks like a man who should never piss for Roman Reigns.

I could honestly care less about this match, this was a lousy segment. It was more or less away to get Tyrus over as the Fixer. It’s nice he has a gimmick but I question if he should even have a roster spot.

Grado and Shera Backstage

Grado’s theme on these segments has been he’s hard up for cash, which I guess means he’s working for TNA production as well.

Mike Bennett Backstage

He claims the X-Division is all about 5 star matches by my count they’ve only had 1.  Anyways he claims he just had a 10 star match, okay Mike and the UK wants to be part of the European Union.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Lashley (c) vs. ECIII vs. Drew Galloway***3/4

The match starts with ECIII and Galloway trying to respect each other and work with each to take out Lashley. We know that won’t work since both want to be World Champ and Lashley uses that to his advantage.

The match begins with the typical slow, let’s establish that everyone wants to beat each up for some reason story that all three-ways encounter and then turned into a wild stiff hoss battle.  There was a nice German suplex, fallaway slam spot, ECIII making some dives and giving the finger and a brutal punch/slap battle between ECIII and Galloway that made ECIII bleed the hard-way on the chest. This is the stuff I live for in wrestling.

This was a great match, these three currently have the best feud in wrestling and working their asses off for us. Every match comes off a fight which really is a lost art in time when wrestling is more about flips and choreographed gymnastic spots.  Please go out of your watch to watch this match. 

Final Thoughts:

10/10. I laughed, I popped, I cringed, I cried, I even pee’d a little. This show had something for everyone. TNA has taken a drastic turn for the great as they go all in on this GLOW presentation of wrestling, where the angles and vignettes are ironically cheesy and bad.

TNA is also capable of incorporating world-class wrestling with Galloway, Lashley and ECIII shooting on each other.

While this show was light on wrestling, it really did flow nicely and built or created new stories, characters and advanced current feuds. If you hate this show please @ me on Twitter so I can block you immediately and bury you in DMs to mutual followers.  

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