TNA WWW Review Archive (December 2015-July 2017)

TNA Impact Review – From Zero to Nero

Brother Nero telling #Broken Matt that it is indeed OVAH.

TNA Impact

Watch: PopTV

Air Date: June 21, 2016

Universal Studios/Impact Zone – Orlando, Florida

Impact starts with Drew Galloway and ECIII having a heated exchange over last week’s SNAFU. This friendship has evolved into bitter hate. Both men rip off their shirts in a way sounds sexually charged on paper but came off as animalistic hate on TV.

Bobby Lashley enters the Impact Zone. This man is a better world champ than Jay Lethal, Dean Ambrose and Okada.

He informs Drew and ECIII that he has pulled some strings and will be facing both to a tag match, where if they win they get a title shot. Lashley announces his partner and it’s number 500 on my 500 wrestlers that have better matches than Dean Ambrose, Eli Drake.

The match is now.

Eli Drake & Bobby Lashley vs ECIII & Drew Galloway**1/2

This was a decent TV match.  As much as I like to bag on Eli Drake as being a sub par worker, he’s continued to put on good showings since I’ve been reviewing IMPACT.  This match is the very definition of my issues with Impact where creative books itself into a corner which leads to a heatless, predictable match despite a quality effort from all the wrestlers.

Winner: ECIII/Lashley

Backstage Segments with The Decay and Lashley/Galloway

We go to the back with the Decay and they are trying to bring a mysterious man into their ranks.

Recap of the tag match. Lashley comes back taunting Galloway saying he controls his destiny and he can whoop Drew’s ass anytime that he wants. Good segment here. Lashley is the best.

The Decay do some recruiting

The Decay enter and keep talking about how beautiful they are which has left me in a paranoid state that Crazzy Steve is going to let the pigeons loose since he’s the one in the clown makeup.

They are recruiting Bram and Rosemary is shooting on Bram, talking about how Bram solves his problems with violence and how his partners have betrayed him (ADR not specifically mentioned, but we got the point).

I like The Decay. They’re fun, but it continues to amaze me that TNA would use a talent like Bram. He’s arguably the worst wrestler on the IMPACT roster and has a case for in all of wrestling.

ECIII and Lashley Backstage

ECIII and Lashley now exchanging words backstage where Lashley continues to say it’s on his terms. ECIII calls Lashley a coward and Lashley says to never call him that.  He will let us know next week who he will face.

Marti Belle vs. Jade**3/4

We got this match pretty fast, it’s been one week since they’ve begun this feud and a feud that was spun from convoluted reasons. I’m really not sure why TNA hot shotted this match so fast.

Can someone please tell me who in TNA is so obsessed with floor brawls? They floor brawled for roughly 60% of the match. The other 40% was good but sloppy at times. Jade continues to flash a ton of promise for TNA but has yet to have that defining moment. Marti is a little sloppy, but I think she can be good in time.

The big problem was the match was devoid of any sort of heat and tried to play off emotion that wasn’t there.  This is another problem TNA has they hot-shot matches for no reason and continue the feud when it feels over before it really began.  Still a technically decent match .

Winner: Marti Belle

Backstage with the Bennett’s

Maria and Mike are here, and have some unkind words from Dixie Carter. They continue to lead me down a path where I’m convinced they are making Dixie Carter the ace of the Knockouts, which makes me sad with the recent signing of Chelsea Green.

Backstage with Dixie and Lashley

Dixie confront Lashley and Lashley flinched which is the ultimate shot at Stephanie McMahon. She says Bobby will be facing Lashley and ECIII in a triple threat? Why so fast on this match, this is a great feud where they have plenty of mileage left. Can’t say this is just a TNA problem, however.

In ring with Mike Bennett. Maria, Dixie and Corgan

Bennett and Maria demand that Dixie comes out and explains herself.

Here comes her and TNA sugar daddy Billy Corgan. Bennett demands Dixie explain herself. Dixie believes she was justified in slapping Maria.  Maria demands an apology and demands that Dixie steps down, Bennett says he can sue her for millions. Billy Corgan’s nasally voice says that The Bennetts have some good points and Dixie should take a break.

Why does this feel like everything that is happening backstage between the Aryans, Corgan and Dixie?

Talk about 2 people I could really do without seeing. This whole segment reeks of vanity and general pointlessness, Corgan and Dixie shouldn’t be on TV.

Also, why was Corgan’s hand purple? I found it distracting.

X Division Championship: Eddie Edwards (c) vs. Mike Bennett***

This was another decent TV match mostly because Mike Bennett did a “botched” spot and is coming to terms with the fact he’s not that good. They actually gave these two time as well. This is a nice surprise for an X Division match.

Eddie continues to impress and is really a forgotten talent when it come to guys that are great wrestlers, he rarely gets the credit he deserves.

This was another random match with a random finish but I feel it works in the context of this match, Mike while crappy in the ring is a decent mic guy and can get heat.

Eddie is good in the ring, let these two have a feud over Option C it could be fun and maybe give Eddie a little momentum as a singles talent.

Winner: Mike Bennett

Backstage with the Bennett’s

Bennett and Maria are doing a photo-shoot and say they will cash in Option C and Mike will become the TNA world champ.

I will cash in my Option C and tell Trask to find a new Impact reviewer if this happens.

Robbie E gets creepy after dark

Robbie E is hanging out backstage and decides to lurk around in Jesse’s bag. He finds Jesse’s iPad and is hopefully looking to see if Jesse has been reading my reviews of TNA Impact, has the new puro drops or wants to see if Jesse watches Fake Taxi.

Unfortunately that wasn’t the case, this was time used to get over TNA’s version of G-TV which didn’t work 20 years ago but will somehow work now. We see on not G-TV that Raquel and Jesse have a something they are hiding from Robbie. Robbie is mad.

Braxton Sutter vs. Balam errr Rockstar Spud**

Rockstar Spud comes out and he’s mad that he’s not in the match and kicks Balam out, Balam is CWC contender Lince Dorado. I’m sure there is a story here.

This match was pretty inconsequential, short and random but the fans seem to be in it. Braxton got a decent reaction and Spud can get heat. I think if you give these two time it would be a really fun match and feud. I low-key like the potential of this. 

Winner: Braxton Sutter

Six Sides of Steel: Brother Nero vs. Brother Moore (Matt Hardy)****

The first thing I notice is a TNA fan that looks exactly like Aja Kong so I’m already stamping at least 4 stars on this.

The match itself was a typical Hardy match full of wacky, convoluted spots, including a holy shit of a finish where Brother Nero puts a ladder on turnbuckle/climbs to the top of the cage and dives through two tables on Brother Moore.  Holy fucking shit was a finish.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but this is a feud of the decade contender. Unironically speaking these two are putting on a series of very fun spotfests that are week in and out the highlight of TNA, outside of ECII, Galloway and Lashley.

Winner: Brother Nero 

Overall Thoughts:

This was a really fun episode of IMPACT. While I strongly dislike TNA’s tropes of hot shots and booking themselves into a corner where the obvious happens, they can really put on a fun show that’s easy to digest.

In the day and age where we get 3 hour of dragging ass, NJPW treating ROH the way the Gimp treated Ving Rhimes in Pulp Fiction and lucha that isn’t really lucha, but an episodic sci-fi drama, Impact has a case for best wrestling TV show. 

The problem with consistency in TNA, is it’s complacency. This is a promotion that lacks anything buzzworthy outside of Nazi Gold being leveraged to potentially purchase the company.  Still, quality wrestling. 6.8/10


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