TNA WWW Review Archive (December 2015-July 2017)

TNA Impact Review: An Average Affair

Opening Promo

JB is in the ring and is bringing out the BFG Finalists

Mike Bennett’s shitty theme is blaring through the IMPACT Zone. He seriously has the worst theme in wrestling and it’s not even close.  It’s a channel changing banger.  Next up is ECIII. What a way to kick off IMPACT on POP.

Mike Bennett asks to talk first and the fans are chanting “no” and “shut the hell up”. Mike Bennett heat is the 2016 X Pac heat. Bennett talks about talking the hard road to the finals by beating Brother Nero and Drew Galloway.  Mike reminds ECIII that he snapped his win streak.

ECIII says looking at Mike Bennett angers him. (I’m not sure why ECIII has blocked me on twitter, we have a lot in common) He threatens to shoot on Bennett and when he does ECIII will be bound for glory, which sounds to this day sounds like a leather and lace skin flick .

Mike reminds ECIII that he’s Ricky Bobby and ECIII is Cal Naughton Jr. ECIII says he will win and become the champion. This is becoming redundant

Here comes Moose who helps Bennett beatdown ECIII to close out the segment.

This was a solid opening segment that tied together their past beefs and add’s some good continuity of Bennett ending ECIII’s streak to sell tonight’s main event.

Eii Drake Backstage

We cut to Eli Drake and he wants to talk to us, he delivers a delightful 30 second promo, this guy is serious gold on the mic. Dummy Yeah.

Bram and Rosemary Segment

Rosemary is out on the her family farm  talking about magic, brothers that never existed and a barn which is why Rosemary brought Bram here.

This was a weird segment that came off as an episode of True Blood where Sookie Stackhouse meets a british vampire on farmersonly.com and the episode was directed by Oliver Stone. I did not like this one bit, it’s trying to replicate the Matt Hardy stuff but failed to do so.

Eli Drake vs James Storm***

This was a WCW Saturday Night Dusty Rhodes Clubbering Bay Bay. Lots of good back and forth action between these two and very par for the course of their body of work.  There was a nice sprint of false finishes and a good finish that saw James Storm win with the Superkick.

This was a fun match and easily the best these two have had together. 

Storm/Roode Segment

Storm is celebrating and here comes Bobby Lashley.

Lashley claims he doesn’t want any trouble, it’s likely because he’s not ECIII.  James Storms opens up shoot week volume 60 by saying he beat an Olympic Gold Medalist for the belt Lashley wears and Lashley is only a NCAA champ.

Lashley says he’s here to collect every title in TNA which means TNA is starting up their own Triple Crown which makes sense since 2016 TNA has been the best wrestling I’ve seen since peak 90’s AJPW.

This quickly turns into a confirmed shoot (™ Fray) as both agree to fight title for title.  I like Lashley’s story right now where he is collecting all the TNA title’s ( who is the meta TNA legends champ?). He’s been an absolute joy to watch this year, he’s approaching my top 10 favorite wrestlers of the year to be honest. I’m  excited for this feud.

Cut to Gail Kim, Maria, and Allie

They are bickering over who Gail beats clean as a sheet because TNA over pushes Gail and this feud is obvious. Maria says Gail is facing Allie.

Bram and Rosemary Segment II

Bram and Rosemary are getting weird in a barn and Rosemary has a secret and my thoughts are her secret is she used to be a Miami Dolphin kicker by the name Ray Finkle, if this goes Crying Game, I’ll submit it as angle of the year.

Gail Kim vs Allie**

Allie looks scared to enter the ring and out comes Maria who says Gail will have two opponents tonight and here comes Bae Sienna.  I’m so in love, like I want to send her a mixtape of my favorite wrestling themes.  I also get the feeling that I’m going to hate this outcome and get ranty.

TNA booked this pretty well,  by not really making it a handicap match but making it a match where Sienna does all the heavy lifting and looks strong, while Allie begs to be tagged in after a good beating has been applied.

This is a prime example of something that was booked smartly but was completely ineffective and had zero drama or intrigue because it was an obvious outcome. This is going to drag the showdown week after week. It’s also disappointing to see TNA waste a good talent like Allie like this, her character is effective but they’re not maximizing her talents.

Matt Hardy Backstage Segment

Matt is pissed that Brother Nero ruined his shot at the title and he will make Jeff pay. He started biting at the camera. Matt continues to be a joy to watch.

Matt in the Ring

Matt demands that Jeff win him back the tag titles and he must do it on his own. The first competitors out are Chuckie Freakin T and JT Dunn oh my freaking lord I’m fired up.

The fans are chanting Jeff and Matt keeps yelling that name doesn’t exist. I’m like a 9 out of 10 right now.  Matt Hardy attacks a fan and starts biting him and has blood all around his mouth. Tears are rolling down my cheeks because peak wrestling makes me cry.

Matt Twists of Fates Jeff and tags himself in to pick up the win.

Well this was something else.  Not only did Matt delight us with his over the top greatness but we got to see two longtime indy guys who deserve some limelight in Chuckie T and JT Dunn get a fair amount of offense and a chance to showcase their talents .

This has made me beyond happy. **** of happiness

Shera and Grado vs Tribunal****3/4

I’m going to be completely honest here. I made a grilled cheese sandwich with mozzarella, prosciutto, pesto and heirloom tomatoes. There was also some jalapeno chips in the mix.

Bram and Rosemary Skit III

Rosemary is talking about a boyfriend who did something on Valentine’s Day, this felt like it was legit going towards a rape type of scenario it was really uncomfortable to watch. This segment is all around awful, like drizzling shits bad.

Bram stops here and says he doesn’t care and wants to go, Rosemary snaps and here comes Crazy Steve and Abyss who know Bram out and stuff him in the trunk of a car. Okay!

ECIII vs Mike Bennett***

This match was pretty meh and felt a bit long in the tooth for me, Mike Bennett should never have a match over 10 minutes and frankly I was surprised ECIII was able to carry him to something passable.

I tend to go back and forth on ECIII as an in ring talent sometimes I feel he needs to be carried to a good match and other times I think he can be the star of the match. Tonight felt like he was the star and he continues to build a pretty solid in ring case for me. He did some nice selling of the beatdown earlier in the match.

Ultimately this was just run of the mill tv stuff, almost to the point where if you could do a blind taste test you would wouldn’t be able to tell this apart from something you’d see Sheamus and ADR do on a Monday or Tuesday night or whatever night they’re on.

ECIII got the win and will be facing Lashley or Storm at BFG something tells me Lashley is wrestling three times at BFG which is too much even for a hoot like Bobby.

Overall:

Tonight’s show felt clumsy to me. TNA is starting to fall into this weird era where they are using the standard WWE template of how a wrestling show should be formatted and presented but mixing in over the top b horror that can be done in both a good way and bad way, along with some quality wrestling along the way.

TNA is often never bad or horrible in fact it’s usually solid tonight’s show was solid all things considered but when you look at the grand scheme of things TNA easily isn’t maximizing their roster or what they could do with it. What works for Matt Hardy doesn’t work for others, I wish TNA would find a good flow leverage their very good undercard including Trevor Lee and The Wolves, like where were they tonight?

Overall I will call this show a 5/10, completely average.

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