February 6, 2016
San Jose, CA
Cue Michael Scott. OH MY GOD. GUYS. IT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING. So yeah. WWE is batshit crazy and decided to run this match on a San Jose WWE Live event that just happened hours after this fancam has surfaced. To be fair, it carries over house show continuity; as we also have those previous match reviews — Brock Lesnar vs. Alberto Del Rio & Brock Lesnar vs. Sheamus. Notice something? All League of Nations members. It’s a shame Barrett already gets injured enough. I’m not sure if WWE would be willing to throw him in there with ‘The Beast’, but none the less Brock is going through stables like he goes through Jimmie John wrappers on the Road to WrestleMania. Next up is The Wyatts, with a match against Harper in March on the Toronto special, but for now, we still focus on League of Nations getting destroyed. It’s WWE Live from San Jose, and a hoss battle baby!
Before the match, ‘Suplex City’ chants echo the arena. Heyman’s got something to say. His client has just noticed that Laaaa-na has difficulty speaking English (cheap explanation that they’re foreign). Heyman turns the identity crisis into a nation vs. nation clash. He puts over (in his own words, whilst ring announcing) that his client is ALL AMERICAN BABY. Lana had no retort. I guess she just wanted Rusev to die without his wedding ring on.
This is a confirmed shoot and potentially the greatest 2 minute match of all time. Rusev threw everything at Lesnar, knowing that, even though he was once the most dominant force in the company, he’s going to fall victim to the god. Kicks, kicks, kicks, just not enough. Brock kept evading, but eventually Rusev threw kicks from all sides and a gut-punch or two. Brock was dazed, and Rusev took advantage by taking him to the ground with his spinning heel kick. Brock gets hit with that shitty little preamble kick. OH SHIT. RUSEV HAS THE ACOLADE ON BROCK LESNAR. It didn’t last long. Brock squeezed out and delivered the most beautiful suplexes you’ve ever laid your eyes on. 1, 2, 3, and finally…4. The crowd is satisfied with the Suplex City display tonight. But wait. It’s over before we know it. Even Victory Road 2011 felt longer than this. Brock hits an F5, Rusev is shoot killed, and Heyman laughs in the face of those that doubted the great nation of the United States of America.
Lana’s pissed. She’s got a mic, something that should have happened before her husband was publicly humiliated and killed. “NAW, NAW, NAW,” she screams. I legit couldn’t comphend anything that was said, because of the comination of the awful audio system, camera pickup-age and the accent itself. Oh well. All that matters is Brock’s shoot pissed and in the ring again. Stop, stop, he’s already dead.
That does it folks. This was the second best thing the WWE has done this year sans sign AJ Styles. We got a dream match that lasted as long as peoples’ attention spans to restholds. It will hopefully happen again someday, but on the glorious night that was February 6, 2016; we can say that in San Jose, CA, with empty seats in the arena…
Brock Lesnar shoot killed Rusev.