Welcome, everyone to a batshit insane idea that’s destined to fail: The Blended Blog (But LIVE)! This morning/late night at 11 PM PT/2 AM ET/7 AM GMT I will begin my journey watching two shows at the same time whilst blogging/reviewing them; the G1 Climax Night 1 and BJW’s Sumo Hall card, both of which are stacked to the gills. Sit back, relax, and partake in the insanity that is my typing to watch to social media plug ratio tonight. I’m not even sure how I’m going to pull this off at certain points, but I’ll be damned, I’m going down swinging.
*UPDATED AS FAST AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE, GOT A SLURPEE AND MAC N CHEESE. LET’S GO.*
Gah! I don’t know which video package to pay more attention to. I’m directing more attention towards BJW’s because the G1 package is repeated during every night. Seems like NJ is getting started quicker, as we’re about to balance prelim card things. Early thoughts headed into this is that I’m petrified what G1 matches line up with certain BJW matches. Regardless, let’s give this a whirl. I’m going to try and timestamp at important/fun moments to give more context than just live writing. Expect typos. Expect a mess. HERE. WE. GO.
Juice Robinson/Michael Elgin/David Finlay vs. Hiroyoshi Tenzan/Satoshi Kojima/Jushin Thunder Liger + Ryuichi Sekine/Tatsuhiko Yoshino vs. Kota Sekifuda/Yuya Aoki
11:10 PM: NJ six man opener hits the ring as BJW is still going through its intros.
I’m more interested in the Japan return of Kota Sekifuda but it’s a banging combo on the TV for the opening of the entire G1. Example: Elgin and Liger wrestling. I’ve come to expect I’m going to have to leverage attention to matches based on entrances and transitions as they always won’t be running concurrently. I’ve experienced a few lag moments on BJW so far that are going to make me scream. Luckily no title match yet. KOJIMA IS FIRING OFF CHOPS AS SEKINE PUTS ON A HEADLOCK. Ustream died for 15 seconds and I had the biggest heart attack yet. I thought my internet was better than this. Kojima pinned Finlay with the Koji lariat in what was a perfectly fine, fun opener. I’m able to take a closer look at lag-ful BJW’s showcase in which I’ve missed numerous spots already. Yoshino’s missile dropkick is the BEST. I could watch Yoshino and Sekifuda wrestle all day. After a great chop and excitement filled sequence we saw Yuya take out Sekine which led to a German on the returned Sekifuda for the win. Both really solid openers.
11:22 PM: Bullet Club hits the ring (Omega)! Sekifuda basks in the glory of his return (but a loss).
Kenny Omega/Tama Tonga/Chase Owens vs. Minoru Suzuki/El Desperado/Taichi + Great Kojika/Tstomu Oosugi/Herclues Senga vs. Kendo Kashin/Brahman Shu/Brahman Kei
MISU FUCKING GOES RIGHT AT OMEGA, throwing up over the barricade, killing him in every direction throughout the arena, where as chaos breaks out in this bound-to-be-ridiculous BJW six man. Kojika and Omega are technically split screen right now. Life is good. I’m sorry Brahmans and co. but I can’t take my eyes off the utterly bonkers character clash on my TV. Suzuki is trying to break Omega’s arm over chairs where as a Brahman just spat water into like, a beach towel, then a purse, THIS IS WILD. KOJIKA IS IN THE RING! Taichi is in the ring. I’ve made my choice. But then Omega and Suzuki came on screen again and this is why this is the worst idea of all time. MiSu reversed a One Winged Angel attempt into a sleeper then we got a Gotch Piledriver nearly dropping Omega on his neck only for a backdrop. As both exaustingly tag out, Brahmans/Kashin are trying to work together but failing. Speed of Sounds highspot and Kojika just stands there cause he knows he isn’t taking flight BUT WHAT he puts on a fucking lucha mask AND HIT AN APRON DIVE!!!!!! MiSu pinned Chase after a Gotch piledriver; a very effective multi-man that has me fired all the way up. NJPW is taking the express lane with no intermission where as this Sumo Hall show is gonna be massive. This’ll benefit us later on when we’re checking out the big BJW matches and NJ is likely done. A Brahman got wiped by a stop sign and things aren’t looking done here. KOJIKA PINNED A BRAHMAN AFTER A ROLL-UP, GOD BLESS THIS ALL. Just as the pin happens they shoot a post-match angle where MiSu and Omega brawl to the backstage area through the curtain. Hell yes.
SANADA/BUSHI vs. EVIL/Hiromu Takahashi + Masakatsu Funaki & Kazumi Kikuta vs. Yoshihisa Uto & Takuya Nomura
FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. This is going to be a huge hit. I want to give both these matches my full attention. We won’t see anything as bizarre as this LIJ explosion tag anytime soon in NJ, but here we are about to get shooters inc. up in this ish in Sumo Hall. Strap in folks. BJW tag hits the ring slightly earlier because, you know, LIJ entrances. FUNAKI AND NOMURA ARE LOCKING UP AS EVIL AND SANADA FACE OFF. I’m losing my mind via happiness of witnessing an LIJ DG breakout at the same time as technical grappling in Sumo Hall. LIJ know each other WAY too far, so it’s tremendous they went the route of “what is even going to work right now?” WE HAD A SYNCED SPOT IN THE TWO MATCHES. It’s odd how these matches are following a weird similar path, with Hiromu and Nomura in peril trying to claw back in it. Uto is SWINGING away on Kikuta as BUSHI shoots through the ropes like a bullet with a tope on EVIL. The style clash and fun watching two things at once might peak here before it becomes annoying for the big matches. EVIL tapped BUSHI. The match was a well done implosion — and considering this is an “off night” kind of tag, they put a lot more effort into this considering it was the first match of the tour for anyone involved and that it was special for numerous reasons. I must say, the shoots and hoots tag still going on has me hooked to the point where it was more so 60/40 vision in favor of LIJ when both were happening. LIJ does the all fists in sports team huddle gimmick to end their match as Funaki is still man-handling poor Nomura who’s dying to get a string of offense together. What’s funny is that I fell victim to partly missing a finish already. I believe Funaki and Kikuta gave double piledrivers for the win. This match continues to prove that Nomura is the BOY right now, Funaki still has it, Uto rules, etc etc. What a block of action right there.
Toru Yano/Jado vs. Kazuchika Okada/Gedo + Deathmatch: Yuko Miyamoto/Isami Kodaka vs. Takumi Tsukamoto/Toshiyuki Sakuda
Video I’m not going to pay attention to plays for the deathmatch where as Okada is out with his goddamn gray hair that’s a wonder of the world. Jado held open the ropes for Okada as if he was his young boy. The video I ignored has a blindfolded weed whacker deal where there’s a molded human head and a watermelon next to each other. Another fascinating simulcast. We’re getting actual sequences between Okada and Yano before the quick roll-up tomorrow. This CHAOS tag is going fairly long just because it has to. I find Yankee Two’s entrance much more enthralling. To be fair Yano and Okada do a super good job mixing things up in terms of Yano tricks and offense Okada gets in. Makes you think what the hell is gonna happen in their match tomorrow. 12:01 AM: We’ve been tic for tac thus far, matches are ending around the same times and there’s not an insane delay just yet. Yano pinned Gedo after low blows to both to cap off what was a decent primer for the ridiculousness tomorrow. We cut full attention to the deathmatch and of course, there’s already blood. Yuko rubbing his elbow into Sakuda’s crimson face is marvelous. After trying to decode what NJ announced pre-intermission (forgot there was one for tonight), (they announced that Hokkaido are hosting two big shows next year on January 27 and 28) I come back to a backdrop on a ladder, and really, just plain old BJW madness you’d expect like Isami attempting a standing Russian leg sweep into the King of the Mountain jail. Also, English commentary noted that Yano is a mental defect which is just fucking stupid and you’re dumb and this is why I do Japanese commentary, AS I TYPE THIS YUKO DOES DOUBLE KNEE MOONSAULT AND A WEED WACKER IS IN PLAY VIA SAKUDA. Isami used it back in Sakuda’s face then hit a brainbuster for a nutty near fall. This rules and hopefully some are catching this during NJ’s intermission. Isami leaps off the damn ladder then hits a tope only for Yuko to do a springboard attack ONLY for more near falls. Tsumi superkicked Isami into the cage only for Sakuda to climb it GOD DAMMIT THESE FAKE OUTS — I can’t even keep up. Tsumi uses the big ass hammer but gets explodered into the cage by Isami. More spots. More insanity. One of the best deathmatches this year for wacky work. The finishing sequence was the most amazing, fitting end for this match. Yuko moonsaulted off the cage onto Sakuda on the NOT BROKEN YET JAPANESE TABLE which led to Isami hitting double knees through the table off the cage and then a Yuko driver as Yankee Two pick up the win in a must see deathmatch.
NJ still on intermission. BJW video playing. I can finally find a bit of peace here. Not too bad thus far.
BJW Junior Heavyweight Championship: Shinobu vs. Kazuki Hashimoto + G1 Climax A Block: YOSHI-HASHI vs. Yuji Nagata
This starts in the clear with NJ still in an intermission. One of the most hype matches of the night for me as not only do we get the return of a junior title in BJW but it’s a wicked combo. Tajiri is on commentary for the match! Both matches are actually starting around the same time due to the title introduction here. Kazuki is working the heck over Shinobu’s arm to kick things off as entrances set in for the first G1 match of the tournament. The Jr. title match is wonderfully paced with Shinobu getting the beatdown for the past few minutes as I’m trying to keep one eye on the opening stretch of Nagata/Hashi. Two screens, two limbs being worked on! I’m a happy man. I hope Marcus sees this. The matches have a pace that makes me content, but I’m satisfied watching both play out in their own way. This is the most comfortable I’ve been simul-watching these shows. I don’t feel like I’m missing much by switching back and forth with my eyes. It’s bizarroland to see Hashi in control of Nagata, Nagata having to force his way out of a stretch — where as the other screen as the formula I expected this match to have down in spades. We got an AWESOME sequence with a top rope Perfect Plex from Kazuki only for Shinobu to fire back 10 seconds later with a huge lariat; AWESOME SPLIT SCREEN MOMENT – Nagata kills Loose Explosion finally but he gets backs up like an idiot. As Shinobu fights to stay alive, Nagata hits a huge big boot/rope assisted suplex/exploder combo but we’re back to square one with the smaller figures trying to comeback to get an establishing win. Shibobu finally got in an INSANE stretch of moves culminating with a shooting star press for a kickout; he’s selling his arm beautifully. A THIRD lariat and Shinobu completes the chase to become the inagural (re-branded) BJW Jr. Champion! As he gets hosed down we switch to the Head Hunter trying to get something going on his end. Nagata looks washed but kicks out of the swanton. HALF BLUE HAIR Tajiri presents the belt to Shinobu as Nagata fights out of the butterfly lock. Nagata’s in his zone with the arm bar as this seemed to have gone insanely long (but rules). In what feels like a peusdo 30 minute draw reel-down stretch, they’re throwing everything at each other as BIG DOG SHUJI JOINS COMMENTARY during the deathmatch setup. Both guys are down after a roll-up kickout/enzuigiri. This is reaching “WTF” status. The ref counted faster in excitement for HASHI’s lariato! Time is ticking. I LOVE the forearm exchange into Nagata going for the corner boot only to get nothing out of it only for HASHI to hit a ridiculous catching knee for yet another near fall. YOSHI-HASHI PINNED NAGATA after a karma! This was an awesome match; an ideal kick start to the entire tournament. Twice as better as I could hope for. I didn’t expect to want these two to go 30 minutes in the moment, but here we are. Deathmatch setup goes on at Suno Hall as we reel down from this matchup.
G1 Climax A Block: Togi Makabe vs. Bad Luck Fale + Concrete Block Overall Deathmatch: Jaki Numazawa/Masashi Takeda vs. Minoru Fujita/Kankuro Hoshino
Bad Luck Fale is here and he’s very angry. He wiped out the poor ring announcer yet again. This is going to be one of the weirder match combos of the night. No standout match here, just trying to see what’s going on on both sides. We got a Louisville Slugger on our hands as Makabe and Fale are just throwing their bodies into each other like I want. It’s oddly refreshing because it hasn’t happened in a while. VIOLENCE EVERYWHERE as Fale chokes Makabe with a chain as the lads at Sumo Hall are trying not to take bumps on the concrete block filled mat. Too late as wack ass Takeda tripped up and smashed his face into them. DISGUSTING bodyslam onto concrete replays over and over through my head only for Fale and Makabe to be stuck in their tracks after being exciting for (at least) a few minutes. Blood and weaponry is even more intriguing in this setting of a concrete mat, because no matter what everything seems the DIRT WORST to do. Everyone, witness art: Fale and Makabe trading blows as Takeda smashes into a cinderblock corner stack. I love how Numazawa raises a block on someone’s head like he’s using it as a guide to set them up for a blow (kind of like Aleister Black using his kicker’s foot to raise the head for the blow). We get blades to faces which are petrifying, as I don’t have much to say about Makabe/Fale anymore. It’s there. It’s fun. Makabe went for the King Kong Knee Drop only to be caught with a choke grip which lent itself perfectly to the finish. Samoan Spike squad forever. There’s no turning back from the cringe that’s happening in the rest of the deathmatch. Everyone is busted up, and destroyed and multiple ways, even the ref. We got protected weapon shots and a (still) gross looking piledriver on the “mat”. ISHII IS OUT AND I GOTTA SUPPORT MY MANS, but things are coming full steam toward the finish in this spectacle. Takeda straight up chucked a cinder block onto Hoshino who was laid out. 1917 on the concrete for the win. Holy shit, what a finish to yet another successfully put together deathmatch. Wild stuff.
G1 Climax A Block: Tomohiro Ishii vs. Hirooki Goto + A CLUTCH INTERMISSION
I LITERALLY SCREAMED as these two rummaged, sprinting toward each other, I couldn’t help but think about Ishii vs. Shibata from 2013 or some shit. I’m losing my mind and thankfully there’s no match I’m kicking to the side just yet. It feels like Goto just listened to the deepest darkest metal possible, and Ishii wants to end things fast. I already love this match as Goto is purched in the corner, knowing he’s about to take another goddamn L. Ishii’s beating the shit out of him. It’s like this is the mid-meal desert popping up out of nowhere thanks to an intermission. Full fledged non-stop violence that I just get to take in. Goto was about to hit a sunset flip bomb off the top rope only for headbutts to be pulled out. They’ve spent and we’re minutes in. This feels RIGHT. All the scrappy interactions you’ll ever need culminates after a top rope brainbuster and a lariat block into a modified hair pull (he’s bald but I felt like describing the move as such) neckbreaker. I’m a lot more locked in, in watching the match as I’m not constantly moving my eyes. It’s a rewarding break with crazy action. I LOVE how Ishii hits the powerbomb and the camera catches Ishii cupping Goto’s hands during the roll-through pin. Seamless transitions in and out of fighting spirit/near falls/whatever the hell is being pulled out here. This breaks through the barrier of great to amazing with Goto continually gaining the upper hand only to be sucked into bigger and better ROUGH lariat trading. INFINITE FOREARMS are always a way to my heart, I never find them boring or needless. My dogs are barking at what could be an intruder but for all I know I’m basking in the glory of this shit picking up for the finish. Goto FINALLY captilizes on winning the fighting spirit battles, front and back GTRs for the win. An awesome way to cap off an utterly bonkers match that probably won’t come close to the best matches of the tournament. That’s a scary thought.
G1 Climax A Block: Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi + OH WOW THANK YOU, STILL INTERMISSION, but eventually Yokohama Shopping Street Six Man Tag Team Championship: Ryota Hama/Yasufumi Nakanoue/Shogun Okamoto vs. Kohei Sato/Daichi Hashimoto/Hideyoshi Kamitani
Thank goodness we’re getting a long ass intermission for BJW because I want to soak in as much as this top three as possible. It’s beginning to set in how bizarre this match is. Even a few months ago, with no context, just seeing an image of this happening would blow up your mind. El Desperado is ringside, oh boy. As I cry due to BJW returning (though it’ll be lit), ZSJ and Tana are still in a feeling out process. Zack in the G1 is going to take some getting used to. I’m worried matches may start to overlap with the top two NJ ones as this match is taking its time with entrances. We get a neat spot with Tanahashi going for a senton only to be caught into a lethal armbar. It’s Zack workover time which looks magnificant paired with Tanahashi’s arm brace that’s the bullseye target. Yokohama title match which looks amazing on paper is underway presumably at least a quarter/halfway through the ZSJ/Tanahashi matchup. I wish I was able to zone in more on the G1 right now due to how interesting I find the crowd reaction to be here, especially due to ZSJ’s style of wrestling in this tournament environment against a top star. An idea of the double feature: ZSJ grinding on Tanahashi’s arm while Sato and Shogun beef up. HAMA AND DAICHI ARE FEELING EACH OTHER OUT! KICKS TO THE THICCNESS OF HAMA. Zack does a great job of selling fatigue, stomping on Tanahashi only to fall back down selling his injuries too. There’s not a lot I love more in wrestling than limb for limb trading, which is what’s starting to breakout except for the fact that Zack continues to stay on top of Ace. It’s fun to look over to the other screen to DAICHI KILLING Nakanoue. Tanahashi mounted a comeback, to hit a standing High Fly Flow but Despy was on the apron which led to Zack having breathing room to catch Tanahashi into an armbar, STRETCHING HIM THE HELL OUT, grasping the leg as well. HE RIPPED THE ARM BRACE OFF. HE RIPPED THE BANDAGE OFF AND RED SHOES HATES THIS. Words I never thought I’d be able to write: Zack Sabre Jr. submitted Hiroshi Tanahashi. This was a great match that switched up the pacing in the co-main event slot, allowing ZSJ to get some of the most important shine of his career. The icing on the cake was Zack posing with the Intercontinental Championship post-match. Back to Sumo Hall, the six man is about what you’d expect from it: tons of machoness, not a lot of must see work, just general fun if you’re into lots of strong sequences and interactions. It’s awkward because the main event is about to start, so I’m going to go ahead in another column with that and maintain thoughts about the six man that’s finishing up here. I forgot Kamitani was in this match, to be honest, he hasn’t done much. He always is a ghost in a lot of matches to me. This is also going way too long. I’m also way too hyped about the other screen because it’s Ibushi vs. Naito. THANK GOD. Hama squashed Kamitani with the leaping tackle to retain the Yokohama six man titles. We focus our attention to the main event for all the time we can get.
G1 Climax A Block: Kota Ibushi vs. Tetsuya Naito + BJW Strong Heavyweight Championship: Hideki Suzuki (c) vs. Ryuichi Kawakami
It’s surreal to be able to hear ‘Golden Star’ again and see Ibushi walk out onto the G1 stage. The commentary is losing their shit. It’s the best. It feels like yesterday when I watched these two in the 2015 NJ Cup. Now the atmosphere and tension are improved tenfold. The video package is going on for the Strong title match and I DO NOT CARE BECAUSE THIS IS HAPPENING. It’s beautiful to see Ibushi back. It’s how he wrestles that’s always enthralling. He gets hit in the head and he cringes, finding his way back to his feet eventually, but making this transitional periods early on meaning that much more — EVEN MORE AMAZING when you realize how much attention to detail Naito’s output has too. Oh, Ibushi gets dropped on his neck already too. Kota is hooking me in so fast due to his defense. He’s screaming, making awkward faces, as Naito does what he does best, target the hell out of a limb/area. Naito spat but it seemed like an accidental splitter that lands short. I feel anxious as if we’re in a horse race and the pre-match presentation of Hideki/Kawakam is getting faster and faster, catching up, to the point where I can’t give this match my 100% attention anymore. IBUSHI IS GRINNING LIKE A CHILD THAT GOT HIS HALLOWEEN CANDY STACHE, then goes straight back to pain, then goes to the Golden Triangle Moonsault. I love this man. Turns out the matches would overlap in my biggest heartbreak yet. Ibushi at least teases the apron-in German suplex which Naito ends up countering into an inverted version of his trip/fly-in dropkick. IBUSHI SHAKES TO SELL THE MOVE. On the other hand, the Strong Title match begins and I’m sucked into that as well based on the grappling and exchanges at large already. Hideki and Kawakami exchange holds, Ibushi raids Naito on a comeback while still selling perfectly. Literally 2 minutes in and Hideki is grinding the fuck out of Kawakami’s face. THIS IS A BIG FIGHT. But the other match is culminating in the most epic of ways! I love wrestling; this is hard to look back and forth at. Red Shoes has to chaperone Ibushi away from Naito after the blistering kicks that fired his way. SUPER CHARGE LARIAT from Ibushi as the Strong title is embedded in the Hideki way of doing things – wonderful exchanges and pressure grappling. Ibushi is being dropped on his head but I’ll be damned if I miss any spec of unique offense in Sumo Hall. Naito hit a top rope frankensteiner but that was not enough. Ibushi stopped the Destino in its tracks and HIT A LAWN DART on Naito into the turnbuckles. This is directly followed up by headbutt trading on the BJW screen. We’re back at square one in the title match, and are approaching some sort of checkmate finish in the G1 main event. I ADORE Hideki hitting a suplex only to follow through with a cravate after a kickout. WILD. AS. FUCK. Ibishi hits the apron-in German. THE WHOLE CROWD BITES FOR A KICKOUT. IBUSHI HOLDS HIS NOSE. HE IS NEARLY CRYING. Both men are down as Naito avoided the last ride yet again. Suzuki’s reign looks like it’ll be ended at any given moment given his selling and Kawakami’s dish-back offense. HIDEKI DID A HURRICANRANA. Kawakami elbows his way out of a double arm stretch as Ibushi hits his overhead pele kick to Naito on the top rope. MOMENTUM IS SHIFTING BOTH WAYS. I CAN’T LOOK AWAY FROM BOTH SITUATIONS. IBUSHI IMPALES NAITO WITH A TOP ROPE PILEDRIVER FOR A KICKOUT. WE ARE WITNESSING A CLASSIC RIGHT NOW. FUCK YOU NAITO, LET ME DROP YOU ON YOUR NECK AND SEE HOW THAT FEELS. The crowd is STILL overbearingly chanting for Naito. Hideki hits a cradle piledriver as Naito struggles to gain momentum for the Destino. IBUSHI FIRES WITH STRIKES. Hideki hits the finish. NO. IBUSHI FUCKING KICKS OUT OF THE DESTINO AND THE BUILDING SETS ON FIRE. Kawakami is in a choke but OH MY GOD NAITO JUST HIT ANOTHER DESTINO AND HIT IBUSHI ON HIS NECK AND PINNED HIM AND OH MY GOD THAT’S ONE OF THE BEST MATCHES OF THE YEAR AND WHAT THE HELL HIDEKI JUST CHOKED OUT KAWAKAMI TO RETAIN. Both wonderful matches in their own right, but Ibushi and Naito is one of those matches I will not forget anytime soon. I’m glad I never drifted away from that to be more “fair”. That’s just how it’s working this blog. What. A. Match. Daichi Hashimoto attacked Hideki post-match, hell yes.
I need a cigarrete. Jesus Christ. We transition into the last two matches of Sumo Hall.
Night 1 of the G1 Climax is one of my favorite G1 shows in a long time due to the sheer volume my favorite three matches of the night provided, plus Nagata and YOSHI-HASHI going above and beyond expectations. Goto/Ishii was magnificently built in a Shibata G1 match type of way, Tanahashi/Sabre Jr. pays off huge in building a program while cementing ZSJ’s spot in the G1 and on the New Japan roster as someone not to fuck with, and lastly, I don’t know what else I can say except read my review one more time. Read me freaking out. See everything about that match. Ibushi/Naito is a surefire classic match.
BJW Tag Team Championship: Daisuke Sekimoto/Yuji Okabayashi vs. Ryuji Ito/Abdullah Kobayashi
It’s hard to jump into a few more matches right after your soul leaves your body during a match, but this is one of my most anticipated BJW matches in a long time. The deathmatch duo of Ito and Kobayashi are working a “normal tag match” against a perfect pairing in the co-main event slot. Everything about this screams wonderful spectacle. There are no weapons here for Abby. He has to grind it out against Sekimoto in these exchanges. Any pairing here is intriguing but I like how the match kicks off with the two most ideal ones; Okabayashi and Ito grappling feels so right. Another reminder tonight is how good Yuji is as a seller. The two crank his arms and he mouths off to himself trying to walk away from the pain. It didn’t take long for weapons to be brought into the mix though. Ito snuck a chair shot on Yuji on the outside. ABBY BLOCKS YUJI’S CHOPS only to be lit the hell up; I think he shoot screamed a bit. I wish I could enjoy and soak all this in more but I’m literally drenched from the main event of G1. Still a lot of fun. Abby being continually lit up with chops is everything I wanted. The psychology of a deathmatcher: I’ll turn around and let you chop me in the back. That can’t be as bad! It’s hilarious getting to the juxtaposition of Ito awkwardly landing spots such as a rope submission on Sekimoto, and Daisuke has to sell it like a technical savant is doing it. Abby got in his groove, locking Sekimoto in the Boston Crab, as Yuji came to chop him yet again, Ito got rid of him so quick that I almost thought we’d get a title change off it. This turns into the ultimate scenario of Yuji being PISSED THE HELL OFF doing more and more and more and more chops. I enjoy how the match broke down into Strong BJ having to rally back with tag work that wasn’t too existent at the start, as the deathmatches served as a massive brick wall in so many weird ways. This led to Sekimoto PASSING ABBY UP to Okabayashi who hit a powerslam off the top rope. Still not enough. BEST PARTNER GERMAN ASSIST OF ALL TIME AS ITO WENT FLYING ON HIS HEAD. Yuji spent the whole match trying to take Abby down in every way possible. He struggled, even during what I thought would be the torture rack finish, as Ito threw a chair at Yuji who was on the top rope. Double suplex to Okabayashi but Sekimoto breaks it up. My goodness. I don’t even know anymore as this takes many twists and turns. Abby gets revenge with a shining wizard/elbow drop combo. KICKOUT THOUGH. Abby and Ito ascend to separate corners and hit a splash and elbow drop. THEY ARE THE NEW TAG CHAMPS!!!! What a damn match. One of my favorite tag matches of the year. Logical storytelling throughout the entire match with so many fun spots and moments to tag along with the logic, plus a fun title switch. Love it.
BJW Deathmatch Heavyweight Championship: Ryogoku Battle “Hot Blooded” Way of Life Bloody Deathmatch: Masaya Takahashi (c) vs. Takayuki Ueki
I am exhausted but let’s pour it out one last time tonight. Ueki is main eventing Sumo Hall. Let that sink in. Will this finally be the time Ueki pulls out a gun and shoots someone to win a match? Let’s find out together in my “tired as hell but buzzing over the wrasslin” state. We have disgusting props such as boards with needles, boards with thumbtacks, and barbed wire boards too. Tons of other misc. weapons because it’s the main event of Sumo Hall, baby. Ueki nearly broke his neck on a plancha. SUPLEX OFF THE APRON FULL FORCE ONTO THE MAT. NO. I CAN’T TAKE THIS AT 3 AM. I can usually handle gore and different spots in matches but this already feels like something else. Like they’re actively trying to do the worst shit ever and ruin themselves even more than the typical deathmatch risks because this is the main event, for a title, with a wild stipulation, in Sumo Hall. It’s honestly petrifying. Ueki was hung off the top rope and shoved head first into the bed of nails. The punishment continued with a jawbreaker with tacks in Ueki’s mouth. We’re hitting up health risk checkpoints like a speedrun. Sometimes I’m just not a deathmatch guy, and after a night of so much wonderful wrestling, it’s hard to watch someone plopped down on a bed of nails with force after tons of punishment already. Convinced Ueki just wants to die in the ring as he takes a powerbomb onto a bed of thumbtacks and then sentoned onto under a barbed wire board. I see the blood DRIPPING AND STICKING off his head onto the mat. Then there’s a FUCKING CHAINED MALLOT DOMINO THING. It’s at this point when I’m looking away because FFS it can be hard to watch when it gets shitty looking with head implants and the worst chain of punishment imaginable. I got audibly mad at Ueki going face first into the salt and everything else that happens during the finishing stretch. A careless suplex onto the FUCKING SPIKED NAIL BOARD THING BECAUSE AHHHHHH GOD DAMMIT. That’ll do it as Takahashi retains. This is the most punishment I’ve seen somebody take in a deathmatch in a long time. It was a very good main event but if you’re even remotely affected by deathmatches, DO NOT WATCH.
BJW Ryogokutan 2017 was a great show with three great deathmatches, and three matches I’d consider must watch: 3) Hideki vs. Kawakami which was yet another great defense for Hideki, and I’m looking forward to revisiting it when I’m not losing my mind over a split screen match; 2) Shinobu vs. Kazuki Hashimoto in the Junior title match in which we got an awesome story paired with a wonderful feel good comeback; and lastly 1) Strong BJ vs. Abby and Ito in one of my favorite tag matches of the year. It’s also one of the utmost unique matches of the year that stuck to the bullseye creatively and in execution.
That’ll do it for the first ever live blended blog. Time to crash. Speaking of a crash, I hope you enjoyed this crash course review blend, all feedback is appreciated when trying out something new like this. Thanks for reading in the future, or having stuck by me tonight. Until the next blog.