Puroresu Reviews

TAKA & Taichi Produce Review (3/17/16)

So I am doing this intro midway through this show. The thing is I have probably watched this show for 6 hours. New Japan world is being terrible and buffering like a mofo. I couldn’t watch live and now even when it’s on demand, it is still buffering every 2 seconds. I apologize if this review comes out a few days after the show. I do normal people things, and I don’t have a spare 22 hours to watch a Japanese wrestling event that should last 2 hours. Izzac is not fired up.

(NOAH vs. K-DOJO Special Tag Match) Mitsuhiro Kitamiya, Hitoshi Kumano & Kaito Kiyomiya vs. Kyu Mogami, Ayato Yoshida, GO Asakawa**3/4

This match went a tad over 6 minutes, but it was fun while it lasted. There was only one miscommunication, other than that everything was very crisp and impactful. If NOAH does all the right things, which is hard to believe they will do so, Kitamiya will be a mega star in a few years. The females in the crowd loved cheering for Kiyomiya. This is a NOAH/K-Dojo show, but the crowd is way more behind the NOAH guys. Kitamiya did an awesome Honma stalling suplex followed by a spear to get the win for the NOAH boys.

Bambi & Kikutaro vs. Yoshinari Ogawa & Koharu Hinata*

Bambi goddamn dwarfs Hinata, Bambi is a giant of a woman. Kikutaro screamed “I loved you baby” to Hinata and pounced on her and Ogawa. Bambi and the referee stomped Kikutaro until he releases his grasp on Hinata. Shortly after that Kikutaro groped the referee, so she gave poor Kikutaro forearms and kicks, it’s funny that Honma is on this card. Out of the 3 Bambi matches this year I have seen she has botched taking head scissors every match. Ogawa rolled up Kikutaro after Bambi low blown him because he touched her boobs. This was so odd.

(K-DOJO Offer Match) Kaji Tomato, Shiori Asahi & Ayumu Honda vs. Hiro Tonai, Taishi Takizawa & Kotaro Yoshino***3/4

Asahi and Tomato have some fancy double team offence as do Tonai and Takizawa. Honda did the Hideo Itami DDT onto the top rope followed by a beautiful missile dropkick. Asahi applied a double octopus stretch onto Tonai and Takizawa at the same time which is something I didn’t think was possible, but Asahi is one helluva wrestler. Tonai connected with a shining wizard and then Takizawa come in and back dropped Asahi and whilst Asahi was mid-air Tonai performed a judo throw(?) It was great. Takizawa for those that aren’t familiar with Kaientai Dojo is quite a large specimen and by god he doesn’t care. He hit a perfect Asai moonsault! Kaji Tomato won the match for his team, but the way he did it was spectacular. It was a combination of a Code Red, Canadian Destroyer, and a crucifix bomb! It is now my favorite move of all time. This was a great match, felt like an old school Michinoku Pro 6 man tag.

(Despy Challenge 2) El Desperado vs. Takashi Iizuka**3/4

As Strigga noted on Twitter, this was the worst possible option as Despy’s opponent, but it wasn’t that bad, and actually fun at points. Iizuka is a fellow Suzuki-gun member, but they showed no love for one another. Despy attacked Iizuka while he was making his Stan Hansen inspired entrance. They brawl around Shinjuku for a few minutes, while throughout those minutes Iizuka is killing the much younger Desperado aka dragging him from one side of the arena to the other. They went into the ring for about 40 seconds and then started brawling on the outside once again. Both men get counted out and the crowd HATED this, but Despy says he doesn’t like that this ended in a countout and demanded the match to restart which it does. Iizuka enters the ring and throws Despy to the outside yet again! El Desperado did the Cavernario splash to the outside which was nuts. Desperado hangs Iizuka over the ropes with a noose just like how Iizuka did to him earlier in the bout. Despy goes for a tope suicida but Iizuka breaks a chair over the head of Despy which looked amazing but isn’t smart for health reasons. Iizuka shortly after used the IRON FINGER for the DQ. Desperado was a ton of fun in this and Iizuka was Iizuka.

Minoru Suzuki, Takashi Sugiura & Yoshinobu Kanemaru vs. Kengo Mashimo, Tomoaki Honma & Hikaru Sato***1/2

Sato and Kanemaru have a nice opening sequence but Mr. Suzuki quickly enters the ring and faces off with Hikaru Sato, which is awesome because both used to be former MMA fighters. They just go at it with forearms and stiff chops that Suzuki gets the better of. Honma tags in and quickly gets the heat put on him, Sugiura beats up Honma while the other four men brawl around Shinjuku Face. K-Dojo representative Mashimo makes a hot tag and takes Minoru Suzuki to dragon screw city. Kengo Mashimo and Minoru Suzuki have a great chemistry with each other that I would have never imagined would work well. Crazy action from all individuals with a great finishing stretch until the flat finish. THE GHC HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION HAD TO HIT AJPW JUNIOR HIKARU SATO WITH A CHAIR TO WIN. Weird.

Atsushi Kotoge & Daisuke Harada vs. TAKA Michinoku & Taichi vs. Gedo & Jado***3/4

Suzuki-gun were the BIG time babyfaces here, as well as team WE ARE JADO & GEDO FUCK YOU. The GHC Jr. Heavyweight champions declared this wasn’t a title match at the beginning of this bout, so the crowd turned on them BIG time. The match picked up towards the end but the opening minutes weren’t crazily entertaining. Jado did the WOOOOOOOOO chops as well as a sweet Randy Orton like draping DDT. There was just one Harada fan in the entire crowd and boy did she love to chant “Harada” over and over. Taichi Axe-bombarded everyone in sight numerous times. Gedo’s selling was incredible in this match; he is still easily a top 75 worker in the world. The last few minutes were awesome because everyone was using villainous tactics and it worked a treat for this audience. Possibly the loudest Shinjuku has been in 2016. Gedo quickly escaped the “Just face-lock” and rolled Taka in the Gedo clutch to win! Awesome match. Great action.

Wow, this super showed! I loved it from top to bottom. Well maybe that BAMBI match was pretty bad, but that’s honestly it. Nothing MOTY worthy but yeah as I said a easy to watch wrestling event. It may be because I expected nothing is going into it that I enjoyed it so much? I’m not sure. What I am sure about is this being a better show than any of NOAH’s 2016 events thus far. I hope Taka and Taichi hold more events like this in the future. Let’s hope they book DINOSAUR TAKUMA next show.

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