Lucha Libre WWW Review Archive (December 2015-July 2017)

Lucha Underground Review 5/4/16

Welcome back to another Lucha Underground review. I’m really excited for tonight for one simple reason; I’m going into this show having no idea what tonight’s episode has in store. But, I’m hoping it’s good. So, let’s find out.

Catrina is in Dario’s office asking to give Mil rematch for the championship. Dario gives it to her, but says the match will be next week and it’ll be Mil Muertes vs. Matanza in a Grave Consequences. But, there will be four coffins to make things more interesting.

(Aztec Medallion Match) Marty The Moth Martinez vs. The Mack

The match started off quickly as Mack attacked Marty once he entered the ring. Not long after, Marty got in control and things slowed down. Marty was taunting to the crowd and threw his shirt at Melissa, which brought on several creepy chants. Mack fought back and hit Marty with a stunner to win the match and a Aztec Medallion. Quick match. Nothing really to it.

Catrina is in the locker room with King Cuerno. She tells him that her disciple is going to beat him tonight. Cuerno says the opposite, then says when he wins he will be coming after the Lucha Underground title. If Mil has it, he won’t make the same mistake he did last time. The hunt is on.
Sexy Star then walks into Dario’s office. Dario tells her that he sees change in her and he knows something very bad has happened to her. Dario tells her that he’s giving her a chance to get revenge and make Mariposa pay, tonight. It’ll be a “No Mas” match.

(Aztec Medallion Match) Sinestro de la Muerte vs. King Cuerno

Yet another match that started out good with Cuerno dominating for the most part, but Muerte started to fight back. When Cuerno reversed roles and got control again, Catrina interfered and hit Cuerno with her rock, costing him the match. Muerte now has a Aztec Medallion. Short match. Very short, even.

Famous B is backstage and approaches his new client, Mascarita Sagrada. Famous B tells Mascarita that he set him up with a Aztec Medallion match next.

Chavo Guerrero walks into Dario’s office and asked why he doesn’t have a Aztec Medallion match. Dario says he’s lost everything big he’s put in and doesn’t seize opportunities. Chavo tells him he will seize a opportunity.

Before the match, Famous B cut a promo about how we should call him. He then introduces his new client from “little Hollywood”, with Brenda, Mascarita Sagrada.

(Aztec Medallion Match) Mascarita Sagrada vs. Cage

Do you really think Mascarita was going to beat Cage? Hell no. This match lasted maybe a minute. Sagrada tried to take down Cage but it didn’t really work. Cage hit Masacarita with a nasty F-5 and won. After the match, Chavo ran into the ring and stole Cage’s Aztec Medallion.

(No Mas Match) Mariposa vs. Sexy Star

What a fucking match. And no, I don’t mean this in a good way. This is a No Mas match which is a I quit match. These two are shitty wrestlers, I’m sorry. At first, I liked Sexy Star. But now, she does nothing for me at all. I haven’t seen enough of Mariposa to give a solid opinion, but she wasn’t good in this. Minutes into the match and they’re already trying to end the match. Do you really fucking think someone is going to quit one minute into the match via a single leg Boston Crab?! No. Of course not. Not only that, but it felt like this was going in slow motion. This made me want to fall asleep. They ended up fighting all around the arena and ended up on top of the lighting rig. Sexy Star was busted opened, but it was dark above the lighting rig and I have no clue what busted her opened. When they came down, Marty The Moth came down to interfere but Mack came to the save. When they fought out of the temple, Mariposa continued to destroy Sexy Star. They went in the ring and the craziest thing happened. The ref asked she wanted to give up and on a live mic; Sexy Star yelled “FUCK YOU, MARIPOSA!” Which shocked me and the whole crowd. Marty came back out and attacked Sexy again, but Mac again came for the save. Suddenly, Super Sexy Star jumped up and locked a arm bar in on Mariposa and made her say No Mas. Really? Sexy Star got the bloody hell beat out of her then she just randomly locks in a arm bar and wins. Shaking my head right now. Horrible. After the match, Sexy Star beat down Mariposa before Mack awarded her with the Aztec Medallion.

Honestly, I wasn’t feeling this episode at all. Four matches, three that were very short, and one main event that was so bad but it seemed like the crowd loved it. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but that was bad. The camera work wasn’t so good, and it was just so slow the whole time. Even during high spots. I hope next week is way better, especially with the Grave Consequences match. Thanks for reading.

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