My name is Izzac and I am 17-years-old. I started professional wrestling training when I was 15 in my home country of Australia. I am currently not ‘training’ or wrestling at any wrestling school, but I trained for 16 months and right now I train myself daily (bumps, rolls, flips, gym). My dream, and one of the reasons I am alive right now, is because I need to live out my dream of being a pro wrestler. I don’t want this to just be a hobby of mine that I do on the side. I want this to be my life more than it already is. I’m not sure if I can do many other things in life because my education limits me. I had to leave school when I was 14 because of mental health problems–mainly depression. I was always the popular kid, but over the span of about 3 months my life took a drastic turn and I ended up having to leave school. I wish I didn’t leave, I really do. I had no choice though, if I stuck around I wouldn’t be alive right now. I honestly had nothing. I had no friends and no life. I would work out and that’s it. I rediscovered my childhood passion of professional wrestling in late 2013, right around the time Daniel Bryan became god on WWE television. When I was younger I always thought it would be cool to be a wrestler, but I never took it seriously because I was destined to be a rugby league player and that was my life. When I was 14 and out of school I thought about it and after watching WWE consistently for about 8 months I decided I wanted to do this seriously. I joined up to the only wrestling school locally with my best friend absolutely scared out of my boots. I was so scared, I saw videos on YoutTbe of the ZERO1 dojo and I was frightened that’s what it was like. In actuality it wasn’t anything like that. I won’t go on about that school any more, all that needs to be known is that I’m not there anymore; but I thank them very much for teaching me the beginnings of being a wrestler.
I never thought I could ever take my life, ever, but just like I thought I couldn’t ever get sad that day came where I tried to end it all. This is in early 2016. This is after joining Wrestling With Words and getting my own podcast. I was seconds away from being gone but a thought popped into my head. It wasn’t about family or people I would let down if I passed away. It was about wrestling and the thought of: if I died right now I wouldn’t get the chance to live out my dream. If I died I wouldn’t even have the chance to give my dream a shot. Right then and there I knew I couldn’t end my life and one of the reasons I’m alive is to be a wrestler. If wrestling wasn’t apart of my life I wouldn’t be alive right now and that’s a fact. I don’t have many friends in real (shoot) life but when I log onto Twitter or go into a group conversation I feel like I belong. I constantly feel out of place and not needed but with online wrestling banter I feel like I belong. I’ve made friends that will stick with me for life. There have been times where I had to reach out to guys like Trask, Lawrence O’Brien, Dan and Morten for support because I didn’t know if I was going to wake up or get through the night. If I wasn’t a part of this crazy online wrestling world I wouldn’t have had those guys to reach out to. It doesn’t matter that they’re many hours away from me. They give me comfort knowing I have friends. I remember one situation where I told Trask, Lawrence and Mort goodbye because I thought I wasn’t going to wake up the next morning. When I did wake up and I saw messages from those lads praying for me it made me cry because I never thought people would care about me.
Wrestling is beautiful and I couldn’t care less what anybody online or in person says, we as wrestlers/wrestling fans are brothers. We don’t have to talk all the time but we all love this super obscure thing that brings us all together on a daily basis. In early 2015 I would only get out of bed to read Twitter and check the wrestling news. People love to rag on WWE because it’s the cool thing to do but you will never see me criticize them, because if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be where I am now. I wouldn’t be a wrestler, I wouldn’t have all these amazing friends online and I wouldn’t be alive. I’m known as the ‘indie puro’ guy but I didn’t just jump right into watching goddamn GUTS WORLD at the age of 7. WWE was the gateway drug to all these amazing forms of the graps. So I can’t thank them enough for what they did for me personally.
I’m now 17. This year I broadened my horizons, going out drinking, partying. You know. The usual teenage stuff. I don’t regret doing all of that but right now I try to stick clear from that stuff because I know that’s not who I am. I am not a guy to spend all of his money on alcohol every weekend, I thought that’s what I was missing in life and when I did all of that teenage bullshit I forgot what’s most important. What’s most important is what I’m doing right now, writing an article for Wrestling With Words. Not just writing but interacting with my wrestling brothers because I’m at my happiest when I do this stuff. I am terrible with females, I tell myself I don’t want to get involved with them at the moment but then I meet someone great and fall like a gorilla falling from the top of a tree. It’s just the way I am. I overthink everything and usually end up on my ass but there are always brothers that will pick me up, dust me off and tell me things will get better. All the alcohol and parties are short term but for the past two and a half years there have only been two constants in my life and that’s working out and professional wrestling. I have almost been apart of this website for a year and I can’t be more thankful, I have/continue to meet so many awesome people through wrestling. Never would I think I would be able to call famous wrestlers ‘friends’. Sometimes I pinch myself because I see guys on TV then I think “oh wow I actually talk to that guy sometimes”. I wouldn’t of had any of that if it wasn’t for wrestling. If it wasn’t for wrestling my life would be miserable, I would be working towards nothing. I have other hobbies like writing and helping others with their mental health issues but being apart of the online wrestling world is one of my favorite things. It sounds stupid but waking up and seeing 5 Twitter notifications puts the biggest smile on my face, it makes me feel wanted. When people tell me they like my podcast I get all warm inside because I am just a 17-year-old dude and I have these wonderful kind humans saying beautiful things about me. Puro In The Rough isn’t a big podcast by any means but knowing people enjoy it makes me very happy.
When I write an article or a review and someone comments on it I get so happy. Again, it makes me feel wanted. Through all my depression and suicidal ways I have always had wrestling as a safety net. I know in myself that I will always have myself and pro wrestling, EVERYTHING else is interchangeable. Pro wrestling isn’t going to get up and leave–just like I won’t do that. Over the past couple months my mental health has improved and I’m feeling better. For about a month I didn’t feel sad or have any negative thoughts. The thought of self harm and suicide rarely cross my mind anymore which is crazy because that’s all that used to go through my head. I am writing this because I feel myself getting bad again and I hate it, I don’t want to be known as the ‘depressed dude’ again. I am writing this to remind myself I have you guys and I have the beautiful professional wrestling. I am guilty of losing focus of what’s important and I’ve done that the past couple weeks. I haven’t been writing as much as I would have liked and I haven’t been speaking to my brothers as much. The guys like Mort, Trask, Al, Dan, Lawrence and MANY more are tremendous people and have done so much to assist me through this rough patch in life. I am grateful for them and pro wrestling, without pro wrestling I wouldn’t know them. I’m just overwhelmed honestly, because a year ago I was fans of all those guys and now I can call them pals. I’ve rambled on long enough so I’ll wrap this up. Thank you to all of you for being you. Every single one of you add something to my life and it’s all positive. Thank you guys for being the continuous support of me and pro wrestling as a whole. If it wasn’t for you guys wrestling wouldn’t be as beautiful as it is. Also I am releasing my E-Book on my struggles as a teenager with mental health in early December where I go much more in depth about all of this. I just felt like I needed to get something like this out now for myself and if it can help anyone then that’s awesome. Thank you for reading.