I’ve picked up this very nasty habit of going to lots of live shows recently. I make a lot of towns. I’m on a lot of roads. I talk to a lot of “the boys”.
(You know who you are.)
And I’m convinced, these days, that professional wrestling has become a 100% confirmed shoot. You can’t tell me that them boys ain’t hitting each other hard. A punch is a punch. Ain’t no way to fake that. And that ring? That’s just there so the fans (“the marks”) can get a better view of what’s going on in there. Paydays abound for all who enter the squared circle, but we all know the winner gets the biggest payday. And at the end of the day, brothers, that’s all that matters.
A shoot fight is a shoot fight. Ain’t matter if someone’s dressed like a clown or like a security guard or even if they got their baby in the ring with them. A man’s gotta eat. A man’s gotta feed his family. And when you lose the fight, sometimes you lose more than your pride.
You lose my respect.
This is the Fray Fight Series.
Future Stars of Wrestling. Las Vegas, Nevada.
It’s Disco Inferno’s Lava Lounge, and brothers, this is the culmination of a near five year long feud between the Disco Inferno and Matt Hardy. I have no idea who started it or why but Matt Hardy is broken and angry.
The announcers inform us that Disco has challenged Matt’s infant son Maxel to a FIGHT … in the year 2033. And this does not set well with Matthew who makes his way to the ring with a live mic and also with Reby and Maxel. Matt is highly fired up. He demands Disco bow down on his knees and beg for forgiveness.
Disco has none of this.
“When Maxel Hardy is ready to wrestle me, I will wrestle Maxel Hardy.”
Disco calls Maxel a little son of a bitch. Reby is not pleased with these events and slaps the hell out of Disco. She leaves the ring with Maxel. And the stage is set. It’s the year 2016 and we have a shoot fight between Matt Hardy and Disco Inferno.
A ref hits the ring. There’s no wrestling tights or gear of that sort. Disco’s in a T-Shirt and wind pants. Matt’s in a T-shirt and blue jeans. This is what men wear when they fight.
I do find it odd that Matt spends a lot of the brawl begging for the adoration of the crowd. A man doesn’t need cheers to beat another man. Take your eye off your opponent and he might take the eye out of you. But alas one Stunner and Twist of Fate later and Matt Hardy has vanquished his opponent. He’s headed to the pay window.
But he’s not the only Hardy getting that thick, thick envelope. Oh no.
“There comes a time in every young boys life when he must become a man.”
Matt lays out Disco one more time with another Twist of Fate. Maxel, with the assistance of his father, executes a lateral press. One, two, three.
Maxel Hardy has also defeated The Disco Inferno. His father raises him high to the sky. Reby grabs the child for further photo opportunity. Disco Inferno lays there silently. A broken, beaten man, unable to outsmart a mere infant.
What did we learn today: Don’t dare rise the ire of an child. They may be tiny. They may not be in control of their own bodily functions. But deep down inside they’ve got a fire. They’ve got the heart of a lion. And they’re well aware that if they win this fight right now, that purse collects interest when you stick it in a high interest online savings account, baby. Pay for college, brah? Nah. Let college pay me.