Puroresu WWW Review Archive (December 2015-July 2017)

DDT Audience 2016 Review: The Future is Now

Photo credit: DDT

DDT Audience

Watch: RealHero

May 29, 2016

Korakuen Hall – Tokyo, Japan

I believe this is my first ever DDT review. I may be wrong but holy cow DDT is very hard to review. The regular matches are easy but when the gimmick matches and DDT craziness that I love goes on, it becomes very hard to write all that down. Really, unless you watch DDT, you will never understand it nor appreciate it for being one of the most unique products on the planet. This is no all time great DDT card but has some very cool matches I am down to see. Takeshita vs. Sasaki in the main should be tremendous and Team Dream Futures has their final ever match as a trio which should be interesting and very good. I am going to see Mad Polly (Masato Shibata) for the first time. Love me some DDT.

Danshoku Dino, Joey Ryan & Antonio Honda vs. Masa Takanashi, Kota Umeda & Saki Akai vs. Makoto Oishi, Shunma Katsumata & Mao Inoue vs. Toru Owashi, Kazuki Hirata & GuanchuloNR

This was trimmed down to about 4-5 minutes of action if you could call it that. It was basically the Joey Ryan show, which to some means hell. The trio he, Honda and Dino is something I am not sure I love or hate. Hirata attempted to do the TOKYOOOOOOOOOOOOO dance but Owashi slapped him and prevented him from doing it sadly. Many lollipops came from Joey’s trunks and they went into everyone’s mouth just about. Some lollipops were stuck up Dino’s ass and then shoved into wrestler’s mouths. Akai felt the wrath of the YOUPORN PLEX. Finish was flat just like Joey’s dick. Joey superkicked Guanchulo and pinned him.

Mad Polly & Shuji Ishikawa vs. Tetsuya Endo & Kazusada Higuchi***

Polly moves so well! He is nowhere as large as Hama but he does tick the box of a very athletic big man. This was so awesome but it was trimmed down a few minutes so I only got to see 4 minutes of action. It was all action with Tetsuya Endo coming off like a superstar (except when he was pinned). He did a phenomenal forearm and a double rana on both big men which he followed up with a twisting tope con hilo. Polly hit a killer release German and Shuji immediately hit a running knee. In the end Polly got his first big Korakuen win with a reverse splash on Endo. I do believe Polly should of won but it sucks to see Endo eating falls.

DDT Extreme Championship: Super Sasadango Machine (c) vs. LiliCo************

My god. SSM comes out first which is odd for the champion, but he had a reason. He was doing a power point presentation! He got to the first page until LiliCo comes out with Watase and forces SSM to go the ring. LiliCo has her own power point presentation!!! Thanks to Dramatic DDT for these translations. In her presentation Lilico stated that the dangers of Sasadango’s finishing move the Lehmann Shock. She learned that the move is devastating because of SSM’s size. She wanted to hit SSM hard enough so that he would sink like the Titanic. Then she said the goal was to turn this match into the movie titanic. That is the most amazing thing I have ever heard and makes LiliCo my favorite wrestler today. The bell rings and SSM quickly over powers LiliCo and stomps away on her. Watase is trying to help his queen but Oishi tapes Watase’s hands to the ring post. Watase fights his away free but gets whacked with a chair for his troubles. SSM then hits the Lehman Shock on the helpless Watase. He then hit the Lehman Shock on LiliCo! She fucking kicks out! Oishi accidentally nails SSM with a chair causing music to break out. The track was “My Heart Will Go On”. Watase came into the ring and he and LiliCo posed as if they were in the Titanic. They kissed passionately and I was in tears of laughter, someone show Cornette this please. She hit her crossbody but SSM kicked out to the shock of everyone. Goddamn it, LiliCo used a Yoshi-tonic to pin SSM and become the new champ. That was incredible.

KO-D 6-Man Tag Team Championship: Team Dream Futures (Keisuke Ishii, Shigehiro Irie & Soma Takao) (c) vs. Smile Squash (HARASHIMA, Akito & Yasu Urano)***1/2

This was much shorter than I expected, under 10 minutes but it was an awesome sprint. If these guys got another 5-10 minutes it could of been next level stuff. Very sad to see Dream Futures go away but they went away in style. Constant action from the get go. Irie was the most over and deservingly so, He should main event Sumo Hall in August in my humble opinion. HARASHIMA was on fire with dropkicks and somato’s. At one point HARASHIMA was about to put away Takao with a somato but Irie hit a pounce. Akito is injured so he wasn’t at 100%. When he is at 100% he is among the best in the business. Smile Squash did a series of moves which was great, Akito with an exploder, HARASHIMA with a springboard splash and Urano with a splash; but Ishii and Irie saved Takao. Awesome closing stretch where Urano was dodging everything from his opponents but Ishii lands an enzuigiri, beast bomber from Irie and Takao pins Urano following the gin and tonic. Champions retain but vacate the titles right away as this was their final ever match together sadly.

KO-D Openweight Championship: Daisuke Sasaki (c) vs. Konosuke Takeshita****1/4

This was truly a special match for many reasons. This is Sasaki’s second defense as champ and Takeshita’s second time challenging for the KO-D championship this year. He was defeated by Isami Kodaka earlier this year in the main event of Korakuen Hall. 5 months later and he finds himself in the main event challenging the rudo champ. Better yet this match was held on this kid’s 21st birthday. He is only 21! He is 4 years older than me. This feud between this two men has finally culminated into the two fighting for the promotions top title in the main event of one of their annual big shows. This has been tremendous story telling from everyone involved. One of the best feuds for the first half of the year without a doubt. DDT does amazing pre-match video packages before their KO-D title matches and this one was no different. They showed the story of Sasaki being this sleazy dude who hangs out at bars and beats people up. Takeshita was portrayed as a really good guy, a la going to his parents restaurant and walking around like a civilized human. They showed clips of Takeshita beating his idol ZERO/HUB from the week prior in Osaka. ZERO gave Takeshita his mask post-match. Takeshita wore that very mask to the ring during his entrance which is a very nice touch. As for the match, it was absolutely tremendous. A lot of people dislike both men involved in this match but I have no clue why. They are both world class performers. It was the perfect match for the situation. The first half was not nearly as good as the second but that’s not a slight on the first half at all. The second half and especially the closing few minutes were executed to perfection. Sasaki controlled early on after hitting a Russian leg sweep on the outside. He dissected Takeshita and would cut him off whenever he got on a roll. Really good way to get the crowd behind Takeshita. Konosuke fired back with a Sting like no handed tope. Sasaki began to get angry at kicked Takeshita and the ref Matsui in the balls. Another ref came in but Sasaki give him the Vietnam Driver II for his troubles. Takeshita was showing fighting spirit and slapped Sasaki and gave him the middle finger. Sasaki hit more crazy offence including a middle rope pedigree. Beautiful La Mistica that Takeshita fought for life and limb to get to the ropes. Sasaki almost won with the flash rana and then attempted another La Mistica but was hit with a modified tombstone piledriver for a near fall. Moments later after German’s and a Lariat Takeshita pinned Sasaki with a cross-armed German suplex hold. TAKESHITA IS THE 58th KO-D CHAMPION! Awesome match. Crowd exploded when Takeshita won.

Really really fun show from Takagi’s boys. I highly recommend you go check out the main event and the LiliCo match just for laughs. I see Takeshita retaining the title until PETER PAN. I Honestly see Takeshita in the main event defending against Kota Ibushi. I would pay top dollar to see that. Anyway I am getting distracted. Thank you for reading.


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