Puroresu WWW Review Archive (December 2015-July 2017)

Atsushi Onita vs. Masakatsu Funaki Review – THINGS BE BLOWING UP

No, this is not a retro review by any means. This is a recent review, as this match actually took place on national puroresu day (7/24), the same day as Kobe World, Ryogokutan, G1 and many other events. Funaki worked this show before his Kobe World tag match! Yes, he is quite the tremendous human being, I must say. This is the match where Onita fucked up his arm really badly causing injuries which will keep him out of action for a few months. But, god bless him. He is still going to work all the advertised dates with him on the card . Did I mention he is one year shy of being 60 ? These guys are both up there in age, but I have high hopes for this match. It could legit be one of the best matches all year. Onita always shows up in big time matches and Funaki continues to be one of the best wrestlers in the world that no one talks about. This is for the Blast King Championship and is held under CURRENT BLAST DEATHMATCH rules, which means things blow up and anything goes. LET’S DO THIS!

Blast King Championship: Atsushi Onita (c) vs. Masakatsu Funaki***1/2

So, before I talk about the action in this match I want to talk about the absolute GLORIOUS aesthetic of Mr. Funaki. Onita still looks good for a 59 year old and would get all the women at the local bar, but Jesus Christ, Masakatsu Funaki is one handsome man. He is in tremendous shape and always has a smile on his face. WHAT A MAN! Both of these legends got tremendous ovations from this crowd. I watched the undercard and the crowd was OK, but they were all there to see this match. Onita was out first to a monstrous reaction, Onita is a god to this audience. He could legit go in the ring and say: “FUCK YOU ALL!” and the crowd would go bonkers. But my god, Masakatsu Funaki got a bigger reaction! Funaki was highly over. Lots of people went wild when they saw Funaki. It took him almost a minute to make his way to the ring because the mob of people were so excited to see the UWF legend.

As soon as the bell rings, Onita jumps Funaki and lands a few jabs to the face. They brawl on the outside and Funaki attempts to bring Onita back inside the squared circle, but Onita uses his red mist and throws Funaki back on the outside. He then proceeds to piledrive Funaki through a table on the outside. Onita has really made that piledriver through a table his move. Even at 59, he still busts it out. Onita missed a shot with the exploding barbed wire bat and thus it blew up in his face to a huge reaction from the Super Fireworks faithful. Onita wasn’t always a death match performer, long before CURRENT BLAST DEATH MATCH Onita, he was an All Japan trainee. He showed that in this match by busting out a figure four leg lock that one Giant Baba would nod his head at. Funaki got pissed at Onita’s shit and ran wild with kicks and a big time PK, but Onita managed to kick out. Hybrid Blaster was blocked with mist to the face! Onita hit a very dangerous looking Thunder Fire Power-Bomb on Funaki. Onita used a decent looking back drop suplex for a near-fall. Onita was Irish whipped into an exploding barbed wire board! Funaki followed that up with a modified Hybrid Blaster for a near fall. Funaki hit Onita with the exploding barbed wire bat for an awesome near-fall! Funaki then hits Onita once more in the gut with an exploding barbed wire bat and pins Mr. Onita! The crowd is shocked and in disbelief, but are also overjoyed for one Masakatsu Funaki. Awesome match!

So, this is much more of a special spectacle than an all time great bout. This will be remembered for years; not because of the work, but because of the spectacle of two legends going at it in a CURRENT BLAST DEATH MATCH. Amazing work by the Zero-1/Super Fireworks office for putting together this match. Funaki’s next challenger is none other than Masato Tanaka! That’s going to be fucking lit.

Topics

Wrestling With Words on Twitter

%d bloggers like this: